Surreal Perfection (Camren)

Ch 14.5 - Interlude - Lauren's POV

Lauren's POV

Just Over One Year Ago...

//

"I'll have another, make it a double."

I watch the bartender hesitate for two seconds, but he takes pity on me, and doesn't question it.

He mixes my drink, and sets it in front of me on the bar.

I feel a gust of cool breeze play through my hair, and I turn around on my barstool to look at the beautiful setting sun, just dipping over the horizon.

It annoys me; because beautiful things remind me of Camila, and it makes me feel ugly inside.

I feel the surge of emotions rise up to my throat at the thought of her, and what I've done.

And since I've been crying for several weeks straight now since our breakup, my body just refuses to let me feel anything, but hollow, and empty inside.

I have no clue why I thought coming here alone was a good idea.

It seems I'm actually really good at running away, from everything else, but myself.

My stomach suddenly does a bit of a flip, and I fight the urge to vomit on the floor of this outdoor beach bar.

As I try to focus my blurry vision on the ground, I notice that there's still sand stuck between my toes.

I try to flick them off, but give up within two seconds, because the shit is still all over me.

"Fuck you," I whisper at my toes.

Right now, everything's pissing me off, especially anything in relation to myself.

"Wow, sounds like you're having as good a time as I am."

I look up to see a girl around my age, maybe a little older, sitting at a table by herself, not too far away.

The first thing I notice are her eyes; blue, as light as the colour of the waves I hear lapping in the background.

Her long, auburn hair is tied up into a messy bun, and she's wearing a white bikini top and cut off jean shorts.

She has at least five empty bottles of beer in front of her, and her face looks as red and flushed as mine feels.

I manage a half-smile at her, and respond, "Yup, time of my life, as you can see."

She raises her beer bottle at me and nods in agreement. "Here's to having the time of our fucking lives."

I decide right there that I like this girl.

Anyone who shares my particular distaste for life right now, is officially on my good books.

I turn around and messily pick up my drink, and walk over to plop myself into the chair she's pulled out for me.

"My name's Lauren, and I just fucked it all up with the love of my life."

The girl laughs, and responds, "My name's Nikki, and I'm on my honeymoon here in beautiful Hawaii, all by my fucking self."

I can't help but laugh at our shared bitterness, and say, "Okay, Nikki, you kinda win."

We do a toast to one another, and proceed to both sigh heavily.

Nikki and I end up giving each other the Coles' notes version of why we're both miserable as fuck, and for the first time, I actually feel like I'm talking to someone who understands.

Her ex cheated on her, I cheated on mine, and as fucked up as that sounds, it turns out to be the most genuine, honest, conversation, brought upon by loneliness, and a little too much alcohol.

There's no judgment between us, and we give each other some perspective from both sides of the coin.

I find out that she's a kickass drummer, based on some YouTube videos she shares, and I tell her that I used to be one fifth of a girl band, formed out of X-Factor.

Her lack of knowledge on pop culture is refreshing, and it feels kinda nice for someone to just treat me like a regular person, instead of a pop star.

We talk about everything; from politics, to religion, to our childhood dreams, and I find it almost therapeutic to unload on a stranger like this.

By the end of the night, we're both laughing and drinking, and trying to out-angst each other with our coping methods, and I feel okay, for the first time, in a long time.

She picks her bottle up, and swirls the dregs at the bottom around. She looks to me, and says, "Lauren, being cheated on fucking sucks balls...why didn't you just tell her?"

It's the same question I've been asking myself, and I still don't have an answer that makes sense.

I suddenly notice the song playing in the background, and the fucking timing of it makes me laugh, and it tastes like acid on my tongue.

It's tearing me apart (It's tearing me apart)
And she's slipping away (I'm slipping away)
Am I just hanging on to all the words she used to say?

Nikki looks at me like I've lost my mind, so I point to the air, "Do you hear this? This is why...I'm a fucking idiot..."

I know she doesn't get it, but she tilts her head to listen.

I know what you did last summer
(Ah-ah)
Just lie to me, there is no other
(He-ey)
I know what you did last summer

Nikki purses her lips, and says hollowly, "You know, sometimes I kinda wish she didn't tell me...I don't even know how it's possible to love and hate someone so much at the same time...but then if she hadn't, I'd probably be sitting here with her right now, completely fucking oblivious...I honestly don't know what's worse..."

I let her words sink in, retreating in; there's nothing I can say to that. I'm a fucking coward, and I didn't even give Camila a choice.

We sit there in silence for a while, drowning in our thoughts.

Eventually, I flag the server down for another round, and turn back to Nikki, saying, "So, if your band doesn't work out, you should totally join mine."

She smiles widely, and answers, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

When she looks at me, her blue eyes almost twinkle, and it makes me think of how other people must react to mine.

I think of 'planet green eyes' in the back of my mind, and it instantly chokes me down into that same spiralling drain of guilt and shame.

It's then that I notice, that Nikki is actually super hot.

I'm also super drunk, and super depressed, and I'm clearly in the headspace for doing something super stupid.

And when she places her hand on my knee, I know that she's thinking the same thing.

I've already fucked everything up, so what's the harm in fucking up some more?

//

A/N: Oyyyyy...and the plot thickens...think they did it? Or no? 😏

Your comments are killing me, ps. Especially on that last chapter.

So I'm probably gonna pepper a few more interludes here and there. I had every intention to write this purely from C's point of view, just so you can go through the same rollercoaster of emotions C is running through, without the benefit of knowing wtf is going on with everyone else. But I find these little nuggets are kinda good for context sometimes. 😋

Ok, I'm for real gonna switch over to BH now next. Bye. 💕

Xo, Kyrie

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