Surreal Perfection (Camren)

Ch 23

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Then she does that thing again, running her fucking hand through her hair.

She finally notices me, and I look away immediately.

Damn it, Lauren.

Just, stop.

I can't help my body's physical reaction to her, even though my heart's more than a little bruised.

So I slap Ally's outsretched hand away, and take a deep drink out of the bottle, because I'm totally going to need it to get through today.

The alcohol burns straight down my throat, and settles warmly into my belly.

I watch, as the three of them hug it out, and when they all turn around to walk back to Ally and I, I immediately scramble up, and out of my shorts, and start walking off.

I barely glance over as I pass them, and mumble, "I'm going in the water."

I don't even dare look back as I scurry into the water, even though my ass is burning from the staring I know is happening right now.

As soon as I wade deep enough, I take a breath, and sink myself down, low enough so that the water's just below my eyes.

There's a gentle wave rolling through the ocean, and immersing myself is doing a really good job at cooling me off.

I dip my head under the water, and try to set out a plan of action.

So clearly, I'm still very much attracted to Lauren; which is no surprise, given that she's the love of my fucking life.

But still; she dumped me, broke my trust, lied about why she left me, and then got back together with me, with every intention of burying the truth.

The summary serves to liven up the angry side of me, and levels out the other side that just wants to forget about it, and roll around in the sand with her instead. 

I shouldn't want her back, and I shouldn't forgive her, and I shouldn't be feeling this conflicted.

Cheating is always a choice, and never an accident. Lauren made that choice for the both of us, and the only one I'm left with, is to forgive her, or forget her.

This inner monologue is starting to drag me down, so when I hear Dinah calling for me, I actually feel relief for the distraction.

I submerge myself one more time, before heading back to the girls.

As I approach, I wring my hair out, and keep my gaze down to the sand. But I make the mistake of looking up when Dinah says my name again.

My eyes are instantly pulled into Lauren's, and I totally catch her checking me out.

The blush on her face feels a bit like vindication, until she smiles hesitantly, but softly, at me; and my heart begins to crumble at the foot of her sand-speckled toes.

I then notice right away, that the only spot open on the blanket, is the one right smack next to Lauren.

I glance over at the other girls, and they're purposefully ignoring my pointed glare.

Jerks.

Okay, I can either just keep on standing here like a stick in the sand, or I can just suck it up and sit down.

The expression on Lauren's face falters a bit when she notices the indecision in mine, and she shuffles to the side a bit, to give me more room.

I take a deep breath, and sit down beside her, making sure there's a large enough gap between us.