A Glance

53

Rosie's pov
I'm being screamed at, by that psycho, my tongue tied, My body trembling and my mind's exploding. But then, not Knowing any better, I stood up for myself.
I thought this was a way of being strong, I thought this was a defense tactic.
But that didn't help, the psycho that I didn't I know his name, provoked more screaming. Going silent provoked more screaming too, but it usually keeps the threat to the minimum.
The screaming proceeded as I remained silent, without a second, I was shoved against the wall, I didn't scream nor wince nor cried.
I learned how to go silent, how to play dead. How to cry without making noise. How to swallow noise. How to dismantle the lump in my throat.
"So, you're niall's little kitten huh?"
I didn't answer
"ANSWER ME"
I didn't answer again
Then I felt a sharp pain hitting my cheek, he just slapped me.
I didn't know how to react, I remained silent.
I felt like my heart was going to stop but it didn't.
The guy kept staring at me,he looked at me like I was an unsolved mystery, or some beaten up girl, so I went to the mirror, and saw him from behind, I looked at myself again, I didn't see a monster, I saw pale eyes and sleepless nights, I saw mixed emotions and burned throat, then I looked back at him, he had his straight stern face, it always made me anxious. I kept looking and looking and feeling a knife going deeper through my chest and getting tortuously twisted, he had those dark blue eyes, I didn't see an peaceful ocean in those, I saw a hurricane and thunder.
I wasn't scared, then he came to me and pinned me against the wall.
"You don't know who am I? Don't you?"
I shook my head.
"I'm Martin, Martin Holmes, your biggest nightmare."
Martin Holmes? Martin Hol-
Oh I remembered him, Niall used to talk about him a lot how he's a prick and a psycho, literally, he was right.
Luckily I had my phone, it was in my shoes, I hid it incase.
"Yo-u are a p-ri-ck" I managed to say.
He laughed devilishly.
He slightly dropped my body on the floor, I needed Niall, I needed him so much.
Then I sat in the dim room and started thinking to my self, feeling silent whispers go tortuously out of my mouth, I started talking to myself as if I was bipolar.
"So  I've been in a relationship for nearly 4 years now, and I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating fast when they walk into the room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you'd be so happy to live together you'd sleep on a double bed with each other every night.
And it's not really like that, at least not to me.
You stop getting butterflies when you live together, your heart no longer speeds when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When you're in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesn't feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.
You don't sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight it's hard to tell where yours begin and where theirs end.
Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arms, or stroke their hairs as they fall asleep.
There are nights when my boyfriend, in his sleep, reaches around me and pulls me into him, like a child with his teddy bear, like I am his comfort.
In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and you see through cracked eyes, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep.
Kisses aren't ally romantic or firey anymore, but there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when you're eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes, there's "I'm leaving now" kisses, and "one more kiss before you go" kisses. There's sleepy morning kisses before work, everything changes."
I started to ramble random stuff that has nothing to do with my situation right now.
Then I mentally slapped myself, picking up my phone, thank god there was signal.
I sent Niall a message saying;
•Niall help me please I need you.
Sent.
I hid the phone again, and stared at the ceiling, imagining Nialls eyes, the ceiling was pale baby blue, as if it was a baby boy's room.
I scanned the room carefully, seeing broken frames and ripped posters, and some writings on the walls.
"You see me standing while I'm dying" some phrase said.
"What are you doing?"
I heard a voice, made me stop my tracks.