The Bet Beau Brooks (A Janoskian Fanfiction )

You mean you know and love

Tears build up in my eyes, clouding my vision. I close my eyes, feeling the tears release and stream down my face before re-opening them. I try to hold back the tears, as I focus my attention to the test.

1 line means that I'm not pregnant

2 Lines means that I am

I slap my face gently, as if to wake myself up from a dream. But I am not dreaming, and I am not pregnant.

I stare at the one line red line on the screen of the test, I'm not pregnant. I feel all my worries and fears finally letting go. I don't know what I would have done if I ended up pregnant from that one stupid, regretful night spent with Beau.

At the thought of Beau being a father, but not just any father the father to my child my hands clench and throw the pregnancy test on the ground. I have no doubts that he would have not supported me, since he is known for being a 'player,' and not to mention a dick.

But yet still I let myself fall for him.... I grab my face with my hands and stretch out my face, before gliding my hands down my neck and clenching them into fists.

Why couldn't I have fallen for a nice gentleman... This is all my fault, I'm so stupid and I have no one else to blame but myself. I knew what I was getting into with Beau, but still I took the risk. Hoping that things would turn out different, oh and they sure did... I nearly got knocked up, bloody hell.

Then there's the fear of breaking the news to my mum, she still thinks I'm a virgin and it would break her heart. Her daughter 17 and knocked up, oh that would have been a disaster. What if she kicked me out of the house and disowned me? Leaving me to defend and support myself.

What if she forces me to abort it? I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do that to my own baby. What if Beau forces me to abort it?

But now I don't have to, and I will gladly never know what horrible experiences I would have had to go through. Not to mention everything I would have had to give up, like my schooling for example. I haven't got university ruled out either, since I don't really know yet what I want to do with my life.

I can't even put into words how thankful I am that the test was negative. It's not like I don't want children of my own, I love kids! It's just that... I want to bring them into the world when I'm emotionally and financially ready to support a baby.

One day I would love to have a baby of my own, who I will love with all my heart and bring into this world with a loving family. But now wasn't the right time.

I pick up the test, and take it with me into the bathroom. I throw it in the small bin, and wash my hands thoroughly with soap. I turn the tap back on and embrace the feeling of the cold water colliding with my face. I wipe away the out of place makeup stained marks, before deciding to apply my face wash on and rub off all the makeup.

As I wipe off what's left with baby wipes, I look up and stare at myself in the mirror.

"I'm not pregnant." I state relieved, and a small smile reaches my face.

It feels good to finally be able to say it out loud.

The girl looking back at me in the mirror has a lot of different emotions, she looks tired, relieved and disappointed but she looks happy.

I am happy, but there's just a little tiny part of me that is disappointed. I know it's for the best, but just the thought of having a baby and now not having a baby... I just feel a little bit out of place I guess.

Then there's the rest of me, who is thrilled. I am not stable to have a baby, it was just not meant to be. Definitely not meant to be!

Looking at the test in the trash, I quickly run in the bathroom and grab some toilet paper. With the bunch of toilet paper in my hand, I grab the test from the bin and wrap it up.