The Star-Crossed Lovers from District 12 (Wattys Finalist 2013)

Chapter 29

He immediately starts crying. I put Dawn in the crib the go back to him. I lay down next to him and I start to rub his back. I can tell he’s reading the notes because every time I hear the papers move he starts to cry even more. I kiss him on the cheek. When he’s done he puts the notes in his pocket and slowly stops crying.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Thank you.” Then we just lay there in silence.

“You know we can go home now. When do you want to leave? Gale, Claudia and Kiri are leaving tomorrow so I thought we should go with them but we can leave whenever you want to.” He nods his head.

“Thank you.” Then he pushes me away. I try to kiss his cheek but he pushes me away.

“Do you want anything to eat?” He just shakes his head. “Why don’t we just go to bed.” He nods his head. I help him get under the covers and cuddle up to him. He just pushes me away. I decide to give him his space and I go to the other side of the bed. I’m up until midnight not being able to fall asleep. For the past eighteen years I’ve slept in Peeta’s arms, whether I be warm or cold. Tonight he doesn’t even want me near him. I knew this was going to happen. When I do fall asleep all I have nothing but nightmares so I don’t qualify it as sleep. If it isn’t Peeta absolutely hating me, or me being back in the arena with the screaming Mockingjay’s. It’s Peeta dying from blood poisoning, or Dawn being killed in the fire. Sometimes it’s even Rue and Prim trading places so I see Prim get a spear to the stomach instead of Rue which hurt just as bad since Rue was so much like her. I know everyone can hear my screams at night but no one comes to my aid. Peeta just lays there on his side, motionless. I know he hears me though. He might be depressed but every time I screamed he would slide his hand across the bed and hold my hand. He wouldn’t let go until he thought I was asleep. I know he still loves me. Not only did I not get any sleep, every time I would scream Dawn would cry so I would have to get out of bed and rock her back to sleep. Eventually I just give up and around four in the morning I just laid down and I put Dawn on my chest. With her warmth radiating off her it makes me fall asleep. When I wake up it’s almost noon. I look at the other side of the bed and I see Peeta there. He hasn’t changed his position since yesterday. I shake Peeta so he wakes up. He doesn’t say a word. I go over to the other side of the bed and I start to stroke his hair. He doesn’t mind so I do it for hours until I hear him. He’s not talking but he’s crying. I hate seeing him like this. He hasn’t said anything but “Thank you” and nodding or shaking his head. I can’t stand it.

“Peeta, I know you won’t talk but all you need to do is listen. It wasn’t your fault for what you did. A completely different person took you over. That person was responsible for your actions, not you. You didn’t even know what was going on around you, so don’t blame yourself. Nothing you did affected your life. What someone else did is what affected your life,” I say.

“The scary part is, is that I knew what was going on the entire time. I tried to fight it but I couldn’t. I only remembered parts shortly after. But then I completely forgot. When you told me yesterday everything came back,” he says. This makes me cry. I just need to leave. I take Dawn and I start to head out of the room to go on a walk. When I leave the room I see Gale and Claudia walking down the hall. They were probably listening in on our conversation. I’m about to go out the door when I feel a little tug on my pant leg. I look down to see little Kiri.

“Can I hold her?” she asks. I nod my head and she runs over to the couch. Once she settled in I hand her Dawn. An instant smile covers her face. I sit across from her and when she looks at my face her face turns serious.

“Aunt Katniss, what’s wrong?” I try to hide my tears and my red face but I knew she already saw me.

“I’m fine,” I say.