Chapter 16

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Today, I found Michael looking through my journal.

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Michael POV

I had gone to Sam's to tell her and Zoe the news. They were still in school, so I had to wait for them to come home.

Their dad let me in, and I headed upstairs. Sam's door was open, so I walked in. Her room looked so different from two months ago. She had stripped away all the pictures and reminders of us. It felt empty.

I sat on her bed and felt the silky material beneath my fingers. There was a blue notebook on her pillow. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I grabbed it and opened it to a random page. I read it and realized it was Sam's journal.

Today, my dad finally came home after being gone for almost four months. That's the longest he's ever been away.

He missed my birthday, but I guess it's okay. He took me out for the day and let me pick movies for our family movie night. He's letting me take the next day off from school tomorrow since he has to leave again in two weeks.

I remembered that day. It was a week after she turned sixteen. She sounded so happy when she called me to tell me her dad was home.

Today, I went to Michael's band rehearsal. He told me that Calum and he dropped out of school.

He said that he thinks their band has a shot of making it big, and I do too. They're all talented and could make this into their career. I want them to become famous. They deserve it. They fool around a lot, but they're amazing songwriters and great musicians. I just hope their dropping out doesn't change anything.

I flipped ahead a few pages.

Today, I realized how amazing Michael Clifford is. He took me out on a date that started badly but turned into one of the best nights of my life.

I stopped reading that page. I didn't want to read about how I used to make her happy when I was the reason she wasn't anymore.

I skipped ahead more and found the day I was looking for. The day we broke up.

Today was the day Michael left me for my sister. He broke up with me for Zoe. He cheated on me with her.

Right before I found out, he asked me if I knew that he loved me. Of course, I knew. Or at least I thought he did. I loved him too, and now I hate him so much. I just can't believe he did this. I hope he makes the same mistake with Zoe, so she knows how I feel. I fucking hate her too. How could she be selfish enough to take away the person who meant the most to me?

"What the hell are you doing in here?"

I snapped the notebook shut and looked up and saw Sam at the door. Her eyebrows narrowed, and her eyes flickered from my face to the notebook still in my hand. 

"I'm sorry. I just came here to talk to you. I didn't mean to look through your things," I said.

"Get out," she said and pulled me up off her bed.

"Wait. I need to tell you some-"

"Whatever you have to say, I'm not interested," she said, grabbing the notebook and shoving me out of the door.

"Wait, please. It's important."

"What? What is so important, Michael?"

"The guys and I are going on tour with One Direction," I said. "We're making it, just like you said."

"How long are you going to be on tour?" She asked with a straight face.

"Four months," I said.

"Good," she said and slammed the door in my face.

Sam POV

Luke called me shortly after Michael left and asked me to go to Ashton's. He said they had some important news; undoubtedly about them going on tour.

I laughed at something Luke said as we walked down the stairs to Ashton's basement. Calum and Ashton walked over to hug me. Someone cleared their throat and I looked up. Michael was there, guitar in hand. He gave me a weak smile and looked away.

"What is he doing here?" I whispered in Luke's ear.

"It's band practice," he said back.

"You didn't tell me that!"

"If I did then you wouldn't have come. We want to show you a new song, and we need him to do it. You said it yourself that you don't want your fallout to get in the way of the band," Luke said, giving me a pleading look.

"Fine. Go do your thing," I said, and he ran to take his spot.

"Um, this new song is called Jet Black Heart. So, yeah," Michael said.

Everybody's got their demons

Even wide awake or dreaming

I'm the one who ends up leaving

Make it okay

See a war I wanna fight it

See a match I wanna strike it

Every fire I've ignited faded to grey

But now that I'm broken

Now that you know it

Caught up in a moment

Can you see inside?

Cause I've got a jet-black heart

And there's a hurricane underneath it trying to keep us apart

I write with a poison pen

But these chemicals moving between us are the reasons to start again

I watched Michael as they played the song. Once again, he was lost in the music. But also lost in something else. His thoughts.

He caught me watching him, and I quickly looked away. Blush involuntary crept up my face.

I paid attention more to the lyrics and the meaning behind them. A tear slipped from my eye, so I wiped it away. Luke stopped playing and the guys followed.

"I'm sorry. We didn't mean for it to upset you," he said.

"It's okay. I'm fine," I said.

"Are you sure? We can stop here if-"

"I'm fine, Luke. Really," I said.

"Well, we have to tell you something anyway, so we might as well stop," Luke said. "I'm just going to say it straight out. We got an opportunity to go on tour-"

"I know," I said, interrupting him.

"How?"

"I told her," Michael said.

"Oh, ok," Luke said, and they went on with the rehearsal.

Right before they started again, Michael and I shared a look. He knew exactly what he was doing when he chose to sing that song.

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