Troubled -A Part of Dark like Me.-

*28* Searching For The World

It took me 15 minutes to find the breakfast room. The morning sun dimly lights it and there is little to no chatter. Somewhat creepy to me, I get in the small line moving towards the breakfast food. The chefs hand me a plastic plate of hot, steaming food: eggs, toast, grits, and juice-apple. I look at it; at least it is nice and hot. I sit at an empty table....with one other person; my dorm mate Lele Foster.

"Are you Allyira Kross?" Lele asks looking up from her bowl of oatmeal.

"I am." I begin eating my eggs.

"My new roomie?"

"Yes."

"Things aren't as they seem around here." Lele blurts out while stirring her oatmeal.

I am not sure what to say about that. "What do you mean?"

"Everyone is too nice here. It's sickening and almost fake." Lele explains what she meant.

"That's bad, how?" I arch my right brow at her.

"It's just fake, very fake." She blurts out again.

"Would you rather the staff be rude and disrespectful towards you? Would you rather them not give a---care about your illness?" I try and make some valid points.

Lele stares into her oatmeal, "I guess you are right." She looks up at me. "You are alright in my book, Allyira Kross."

"Thanks. How long have you been here?" I ask finishing off my eggs and moving to the grits.

"About three months for self-harm." She says disgustingly.

"I am new."

"I know. They told me."

I look around at some of the staff watching over us as we eat. It feels weird with people watching me eat.

"You'll get use to them watching. Just be grateful you aren't anorexic. They will be all in your face, sitting with you while you eat and making sure you keep your food down." She sighs.

"Were you?" I ask.

"At some point and time. My first week here." She spills. "It was awful for me. They were always weighting me and making someone to go the bathroom with me." She shudders. "That was the worst. I couldn't pee half the time."

We laugh but are silenced by some staff members. We titter instead and chat a little more before breakfast is over.

Lele and I walk down to our therapy session, I am thankful she is in my group sessions and other therapy sessions except for art. She can't draw that well, I told her I could teach her some time. That seem to brighten her day a little more.

The group session room is set in a half circle with chairs and five other teenage patients already setting the room up. This room is very nicely lit with charts of feelings and positive posters surrounding the walls.

"This is lame." A boy with blonde short hair and blue eyes shouts and folds his arms across his chest.

"Yes, we know it is, James. We know." A girl with red long hair and brown eyes agrees.

"But, it is a group thing, therefore it's mandatory." A boy with black cornrows answers.

"I know, but do we really need to announce our issues to everyone?" James asks them.

I sit down by James and Lele sits by me. "James, we are the only ones that are in here for this reason. So, no one else knows our business." Lele says crossing her legs.

I sit and listen to them complain about the group therapy sessions bot being confidential enough. A few minutes later, a young female wearing a white and red-strapped lab coat enters.