Ch 1

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She takes a sip out of her water bottle, and avoids my gaze.

I don't blame her; we haven't seen each other in person in months, and the last thing I said to her face was that I never wanted to see her again.

Her eyes finally meet mine for a brief moment, and my heart falls down to the pit of my stomach; they're just as green as I remember. And I hate myself for wanting her more than ever.

"Well, this isn't awkward at all, is it," she says.

"No, not at all," I answer, drawing out my words, just so I could have an excuse to look at her face.

I smile to make sure she knows I caught her sarcasm, and it's the first laugh that we share since breaking each other's hearts.

She caps the water bottle, and sets it on one of the speakers, and I get a few seconds to look her over while she's not looking.

She looks amazing, as always. Her hair is straightened, and her make-up's light, considering the the type of event they were at. She's wearing black, ripped, skinny jeans, and a white cut off shirt. She looks like a real rock star now, and all I can think of is slipping my hands through those openings in her clothes, just so that I could feel her skin again.

She notices that I'm staring, and shuffles uncomfortably. "I...should go..."

I panic, because I don't want her to leave just yet. But then again, I want to slap her, as much as I want to kiss her, and the words leave my mouth before I could stop them. "Wait, Lo."

I instinctively reach for Lauren's arm, and the moment I actually touch her, I'm brought back to the memories of spending all day under the covers with her. Of getting lost in her eyes, and her lips, and her incredible hands. Whoever said 'time heals all wounds' must've gotten a fucking paper cut.

"Camz..."

She trails off, and I want to forgive her, because the sound of my name on her tongue gives me chills.

Then I remember that she was the one who chose to leave us, to leave me. So I let my hand fall to the side of my body, because my heart's already laying on the floor.

She hesitates for a second, like she's about to say something, but the stage assistant taps her on the shoulder, and tells her she's thirty seconds out from her cue.

Didn't she realize we were having a moment here?

Lauren looks at me with a bit of regret, but she's gone before I can even say a proper goodbye.

From the stage wings, I hear music play out of the auditorium speakers, and the host introduces the next announcer up on the stage as the lead singer of 'Surreal Perfection', who also happens to be one of the nominees for tonight's 2018 MTV's Artist to Watch Out For category.

I watch her take the podium, and even though it's scripted, she manages to pass off the lame jokes as perfectly natural. She was always so good in front of the camera; so poised, and well-spoken.

I'm pissed off and charmed at the same time, and my feelings about her start to give me whiplash again.

"Hey Mila? Are you ready?"

I rip my eyes off Lauren's profile, and turn, to see Ally looking at me with obvious concern in her eyes. Even her voice had baby gloves on, and it makes me feel just a little bit more fragile than usual.

I nod, and try a cheerful smile, even though I know it doesn't fool her. She accepts it anyway, because she's Ally, and I'm inwardly thankful that she doesn't push it.

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