i n c o n s o l a b l e

- chapter 43 -

| Elise |

"Did you not want me to go?" Elliot asked her quietly.

She scoffed weakly, "No, that's not it." Regardless of how her entire demeanour screamed with indecipherable pain, her voice was dangerously calm. "I think you should go, it's important to you, that much is evident, and I don't know why you're so concerned considering that we would probably lose contact anyway, if you go or stay."

A hurt look crossed Elliot's features, however Elise bulldozed on, knowing that if she was going to do this, she had to do it completely, no loose strings, no opportunity for hope, "I mean, it's not like we had anything serious anyway and I'm sure you'd get distracted by the girls at Juilliard anyway, so I think it would be best for you to go anyway, besides the fact that it would make you happy." She hated how jealous she sounded, how pathetic she must have appeared.

She was afraid that he would deny it, that he would say something meaningless; however, the hardening of his features was somehow much worse, entirely more nauseating, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I understand." He said while backing up, eyes cold as steel, "I see that this was a mistake, I'm sorry for coming, I should have gotten the message when you stopped returning my calls."

Elise remained silent, but Elliot continued, "If I can give you one piece of advice, Elise, it would be to stop isolating yourself like you are, you're hindering yourself beyond what you can even see, I hope you see that one day."

And then he was gone, and all she felt was emptiness. She looked in the mirror which she used for painting; all she saw was black and white, the paint splattered across her face looking like the blood from her heart which she had single handedly ripped out of her chest.