i n c o n s o l a b l e

- chapter 13 -

| Elise |

"Honey, why have you been wearing black so often? It's depressing."

"Mom," Elise sighed, "Black isn't depressing, it's poetic."

Her mother laughed and took a sip of coffee out of the mug Elise had messily painted her when she was young.

"Besides mom, you can't see the watercolour stains on black."

"That's right, you've been spending quite a lot of time at the studio, are you sure the owner doesn't mind?"

"No, she doesn't mind, I only go in when there aren't any classes so it's not like I'm intruding."

Elise thought back to the conversation she had had with the model-ly tall and skinny owner, Olivia:

"You have a wonderful eye for the depiction of human emotion."

"Thanks, it's been a while since I picked up a brush."

"Well, you have most definitely captured the emotions you wanted to - it's very dark, yet a dark kind of beautiful, you're very talented."

"Thank you...again."

"Have you ever considered pursuing a career in the arts?"

"I have, but, I'm afraid that isn't exactly an option for me right now, I'm rusty, and besides, I don't want all of the years of hard work in school to go to waste."

"But, if you're ignoring something else you love, isn't that going to waste as well?"

"I suppose you have a point."

"Listen, Elise, you have such a beautiful talent and it's quite apparent it makes you happy, what are you afraid of?"

"Failure."

"That's quite broad, failure of what?"

"Failing to impress. Failing to achieve something. Failing to -"

"Those are all nonsense fears. My dear, let me tell you something, there will always be people who do not appreciate your work, people who find it odd, not understandable, perhaps even people who think what you're doing is a waste of time. Ultimately, this doesn't matter. If painting is something that you love, something that you enjoy and is something that makes you happy, why on earth would you deny yourself this? Why deny yourself the happiness that you deserve?"

Olivia had been so inspiring. Seeing the overachiever in Elise, Olivia had sent her a list of the required things needed for admission into Rhode Island School of Design, the most prestigious art school in the country. Most of this all seemed ludicrous to Elise. She couldn't imagine letting everything that she had worked towards in school go, simply because of a new talent. However, Elise was beginning to notice that having outstanding marks didn't mean anything if she didn't feel excited for the future that they presented her with.