i n c o n s o l a b l e

- chapter 11 -

| Elise |

The rain pelting against the studio windows was a wonderfully accurate representation of how she felt.

Cold.

Sad.

Lost.

Empty.

Elise allowed her brush to sweep across the canvas; on the outside, the strokes appeared to be carefree and random, however, in her mind she was calculating and pulling through each stroke with precision, each one as deliberate as the next.

She had a clear image in her mind, one that, like the rain, would in the end be an accurate representation of her inner, darker emotions. If someone were to ask her to describe how she felt, (which no one would ), she would say that she was, in essence, an alien type of vessel. Alien because she knew not what or who it was, nor did she know or understand how the feelings locked up inside, came to be about.

Elise sighed, brushing her hands on the paint-stained apron she donned. Examining her work so far, she smiled a sad smile: If only it were this easy to express my emotions in words.

She had painted a rather plain looking girl who wore jeans and a black t-shirt. However, her face was covered, not by her hands, but by a dark coloured cloud which threatened to explode and release all of the hidden emotions pent up within.

The saddest thing was, was that no one could ever guess that she was feeling so dark inside, because she loved wearing bright colours, things that sparkled, and the sunshine. In public, she laughed more than anyone else, she danced in the streets and sounded genuinely happy. Soft tears rolled down Elise's cheeks, and she shook her head.

I am just sad. And overwhelmed. This is normal. It's ok. I'm ok.

She curled her knees into her chest and placed her head down upon them:

Oh darling, she said in her mind, who are you trying to kid, your mind is tearing you to pieces.