i n c o n s o l a b l e

- chapter 36 -

| Elliot |

< Hey, this is Elise, sorry I couldn't, or, I guess, didn't want to answer the phone right now, but please leave a message so that I can get back to you, thanks! - beep. >

Elliot laid his phone down onto his comforter, hands still shaking from the phone call this morning. He had been trying to reach Elise ever since to tell her the news, but he got the same message every time. She's probably painting, or something.

He laid down on his back, feeling restless; there was something fluttering inside him that he couldn't quite understand. His stomach stirred and circled with something more severe than simply butterflies, and his chest clenched as if a hand had forcefully punched him in the chest, causing his heart to stutter unevenly from the impact.

Elliot stood, stretching. He felt restless from the uneventful day, and wanted nothing more than to run around, or use his unawakened energy to produce something musically.

An idea struck him; he hopped down the hallway, and down into the garage where his keyboard was stored. He quickly gathered the cords, and carried it into his bedroom; if he was going to play for someone as important as the conductor for the Juilliard orchestra, he was going to need to practice, regardless of his father's strong opinions toward music.

He set it up against the wall with a large window looking out over their backyard, and looked down at the keys. It still amazed him that the simple, unimpressive looking black and white rectangles had the ability to create such beautiful sound. He loved how it was possible to pour every last element of frustration, anxiety, fear into those keys, and for them to reflect precisely what was hidden inside, even if he didn't know it himself.

He began to play and allowed his fingers to press down on the keys, more forceful than he is used to; he played from the same dark pit that his pain which was felt mere months ago had been ebbing and flowing from, and allows it to stream out of him. He began to feel his shoulders relax as he poured his anxiety onto the keys; he felt himself becoming slightly more secured, slightly more at ease, far away from the open, beckoning mouth of the abyss that had once swallowed him completely.

*****

wow. so. 

This isn't the greatest, in fact, I'm writing this after just finishing a soccer practice, and an immeasurable amount of physics and precalculus problems - nonetheless, I felt the need to update as I will be very busy the next week or so. 

Hope you enjoyed! 

Or didn't, that's cool too. 

Have a lovely evening,

- L -