The Point of No Return {sequel to The Arbitrary life of Avery Blake [teacher]}

The Point of No Return {sequel to The Arbitrary life of Avery Blake [teacher]}8

And there was also the issue with what Avery will do when she finds out about us, if there even was an “us”. She would most likely deny it like the stubborn kid she was (but hey, I wonder where she got it from?) because I haven’t been the kindest person to her… The truth was I’ve just been trying to push her away, not wanting to come in terms with the fact that this 18 year old girl was my realsister and the only person I had. I wasn’t usually that cruel, mean, horrible (you get the drift) but Avery; or well her situation or should I say “our” situation was frustrating. But there was also Cole. I didn’t even like him in that way… like I would (aside from his good looks). My life, the lack of attention and care I had received when I was a child taught me enough to know that you can’t get close to anyone or you’re bound to get hurt. There is no such thing as love. It is just an exaggeration and overstatement used for the weak. I was an accident as my mother always used to call me; I was born an individual with a hateful father who thought that Alcohol could solve everything; it could make my mother’s cheating ways go away, it could put clothes on our backs (which we were always lacking) and it could help him imagine himself the bigger man then he really was.

My mother on the other hand was a selfish, loveless, cruel person who would (at times) let my father walk all over her but then sometimes it looked as though she was the man in the relationship. She would wait up all night for him to get home and when he finally did, he wouldn’t be able to recognise us, let alone walk and talk with the amount of alcohol suffocating him. She had a habit of flirting, screwing and then never speaking to the many guys she slept with.

So you see how it is, my father blamed my mother, my mother blamed my father; it was honestly a no-win situation with me being constantly pushed away and left to care for myself. Hence the reason I couldn’t and wouldn’t let my little sister get born into a world with no care and a messed up family.

But of course I was only 4, my opinion didn’t matter but I guess even at the age of 18, my opinion still didn’t even matter. It all turned out for the best though as Avery too was an accident and my mother didn’t give a damn about anyone but herself which is the reason she dumped her at that adoption agency. But I could tell Avery affected her, I thought once she was dumped that would be that but as I grew older, my mother grew more distant and preserved. But she was still the obnoxious, selfish cow she had always been but now she was more secretive than ever. My father started changing too but it was more noticeable for him. He started to not eat, he never slept and then he too started getting more secretive and distant until one day, he killed himself. I was nine and I remember it “as though it was yesterday”.

I had just turned nine and out of the blue, my father decided to take me to school. I jumped to the opportunity as it was the first time he had come out of his room in a couple of months and it was also the first time he had ever wanted to spend time with me. I was just that little girl who would do anything for her father’s affection.

In the car, he had told me he loved me and that he would miss me. He kept blabbing on and on and I couldn’t understand him at all, all the things he was saying; none of it made sense to me. I didn’t give it a second thought and I was happy for the first time in my life because of the attention I was getting from him. I said goodbye to him and I loved him too and I would see him after school and then he told me he would always be in here and that’s when he pointed to me heart.

I was happy for the rest of the day until I came home. My mother was sitting, facing a little bare corner in my lounge room, not speaking, not crying, beholding no emotion what’s-so-ever. I asked her what was wrong but she didn’t even look at me; it was as though she was in her own world. I thought it was strange but it wasn’t too out of the ordinary and I went in search for my father as I had been thinking about the mornings events all day.