After

Chapter 23.

When I get back to my room Steph isn't back yet. Her classes run two hours past mine. While I lay out my books and notes to prepare for my studying tonight, I call Noah. He doesn't pick up, he must be busy. I wish he was here with me at college, it would make things so much easier and comfortable. We could be studying or watching a movie together right now. My guilt about kissing Hardin is consuming me, Noah is so sweet and he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. I am lucky to have him in my life, he is always there for me and he knows me better than anyone. We have known each other basically our whole lives. When his parents moved in down the street I was ecstatic to have someone my age to hang out with and even more ecstatic when I got to know him, he was an old soul like me. We spent our time reading, watching movies and bringing life into the green house behind my mom's house. The greenhouse has always been my safe haven, when my dad drank I would hide in there and no one except Noah knew where to find me. The night my dad left was a terrible night for me and my mother refuses to speak of it, ever. It would shatter the perfect façade she has created for herself. Even though I hated him for drinking so much and for pushing my mom around, I still needed him as a father. I could hear the glasses shattering from the greenhouse and when it stopped I heard footsteps. I was terrified it would be my father but it was Noah. I had never been so relieved to see someone in my life and from that day on we were inseparable. Over the years, our friendship turned into more and neither of us have ever dated anyone else.

I text him that I love him and decide to take a small nap before I begin my studies. I pull out my planner and check my work one more time, I can surely fit in a twenty minute nap.

Not even ten minutes into my nap, there is a knock on the door. Steph must have forgotten her key. Of course it isn't her, its Hardin.

"Steph isn't back yet" I say and walk back to my bed, leaving the door open for him. Why does he even bother to knock, I know Steph gave him an extra key in case she ever locked herself out. I will have to talk to her about that.

"I will wait" he says and sits down on Steph's bed.

"Suit yourself" I groan and ignore his chuckle as I pull the blanket over my body and close my eyes. There is no way I am going to be able to sleep knowing that Hardin is in my room but I would rather pretend to be asleep than face the awkward or rude talk we are bound to have. I try to ignore the sound of him gently tapping the headboard of her bed and my alarm goes off.

"You going somewhere?" He asks and I roll my eyes even though he can't see me.

"No, I was taking a twenty minute nap" I tell him and sit up.

"You set an alarm to be sure your nap is only twenty minutes?" he laughs.

"Yea, I do" What is it to him anyway? All he does is mock me. I grab my books and lay them neatly, in order of my class schedule and stack the notes for each class on top of them.

"Are you ocd or something?"

"No, I just like things a certain way, there is nothing wrong with being organized Hardin" I snap and he laughs. I refuse to look at him but I can see him moving and standing up off the bed. Please don't come over here. Please don't come.. and he is standing over me. He grabs my Literature notes and I reach up to grab them, but like the annoying jerk he is he lifts them higher so I have to stand to grab them. He tosses them in the air and they fall to the ground in a scattered mess.

"Pick them up" I demand and he smirks before grabbing my Sociology notes and doing the same. I scramble to grab them before he steps on them and he laughs. "Hardin stop!" I yell and he does the same with the next stack. Infuriated, I stand up and shove him away from my bed.

"Someone doesn't like their stuff being messed with" he says, still laughing. Why must he always laugh at me?

"No! I don't!" I yell and go to shove him again. He steps towards me and grabs my wrists, pushing me back against the wall. His face is inches from mine and I am breathing way too hard. I want to scream at him to get off of me and let me go, demand that he picks up my work and puts it back, slap him or make him leave, but I can't. I am frozen against the wall and mesmerized by his green eyes burning into mine.

"Hardin, please," I finally find the words.

I'm not sure if I am begging him to let me go or kiss me. My breathing still hasn't slowed and his is increasing. Seconds feel like hours and he removes one of his hands from my wrists but his other hand is large enough to hold both. For a second I think he may slap me but his hand moves up to my cheekbone and he gently tucks my hair behind my ear. I swear I can hear his pulse as he brings his lips to mine and the fire crackles under my skin. This is the feeling I have been longing for since Saturday night. If I could only feel one thing for the rest of my life, this would be it. I don't let myself think about why I am kissing him again or what terrible thing he will say afterwards.

All I want to focus on is the way he let go of my wrists and pressed his body against mine, pinning me to the wall and the way his mouth tastes like mint again. The way my tongue somehow follows his and the way my hands wrap around his broad shoulders. His hands grip the tops of my thighs and he lifts me up, my legs wrap around his waist and I am amazed at the way my body somehow knows how to respond to him. I bury my fingers into his hair, gently tugging at it while he walks back towards my bed, his lips still molded against mine.

My subconscious finds her way in, reminding me that this is a terrible idea but I push her back, I am not stopping this time. I pull Hardin's hair harder, earning a moan from him. The sound makes me moan in response, it is the hottest sound I have ever heard and I want to do anything I can to hear it again. He sits back on my bed, still holding me and I am on his lap. His hands stay on my waist, his long fingers dig into my skin but the pain is wonderful. My body begins gently rocking back and forth on his lap and his grip tightens.

"Fuck," he breaths into my mouth and I feel a sensation I have never felt before as I feel him harden against me. How far will I let this go? I ask myself but I don't have an answer.

He hands let go of my waist and find the hem of my shirt, he tugs at it pulling it up. I can't believe I am letting him, but I don't want to stop him. He pulls away from our heated kiss to pull the shirt over my head. His eyes meet mine and go down to my chest, he takes his lip between his teeth seeming to admire my plain black bra.

 "You're so sexy, Tess," he says. The thought of dirty talk never appealed to me but somehow Hardin saying those words is the most sensual and sexy thing I have ever heard.

I never buy any fancy underwear because no one, literally, no one ever sees then but right now I wish I had. He has probably seen every type of bra there is, the annoying voice in my mind reminds me.

To get the thoughts out of my head, I rock harder against his lap and he wraps his arms around my back and pulls my body to his, our chests touching and the door handle jingles. I push myself off of Hardin's lap and grab my shirt. The trance I was in has broken as I throw the shirt over my head.

Steph steps through the door and looks at me and Hardin. Her mouth forms an "o" as she takes in the scene in front of her. I know my cheeks are bright red not only from the embarrassment but from the way Hardin made me feel.

"What the hell did I miss?" she asks and stares at both of us with a huge grin.

"Nothing" Hardin says and stands up. He walks to the door and doesn't look back as he walks out of the room, leaving me panting and Steph laughing.