The Gangsters

chapter 24

Ariana**

The Christmas party was going by, smoothley, besides the fact I'm avoiding Nash every time I see him. I'm still stunned by the kiss I had with taylor. It felt so different, yet I'm still in love with nash, but Taylor loves me....and I love taylor...which would probably explain everything the past few weeks. I felt Nashs eyes on me. And I looked down. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle.

"It's the most wonderful! Fucking time! Of! The year!"JJ sang. Everyone laughed.

Glinsky walked in with a huge red bag and had a Christmas hat on.

"WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOSSSSEE!?" Matt yelled gesturing to his shoes. Everyone laughed.

"Stop. That's offensive.." glinsky said in a normal voice with no expression.

I looked over at everyone in the living room, as I was standing in the kitchen, Aaron was sitting around the coffee table with Brent, Matthew and Cam were in the love seat, Nash was standing against the wall, Taylor was sitting in the recliner, Shawn was on the couch with carter and JJ. While Glinsky was standing in the middle of the room as Santa.

"I got all of yalls ungreatful asses Christmas eve presents." He said putting the bag onto the ground.

"For JJ, I got you, an orange." He smiled pulling an orange out of the bag.

"Thanks I'll cherish it."

"Orange, you glad I didn't get you a banana?" Glinsky said bursting into laughter nobody laughed except taylor. Then everyone laughed.

"For, Nash I got you this." He handed Nash a box and Nash opened it, pulling out a piece of black lingerie. Nash looked at it then back up to jack G and I tried not to look at nash.

"Oh wait, that's for Ariana oops. ARI!!" Glinsky yelled. All the guys howled except Nash as I walked in. I grabbed it and looked back up at Glinsky.

"Ew?" I said giving him a look. He laughed and gestured for me to sit down so I sat by Cameron.

"That's gross please don't wear that." Cam whispered to me. I laughed and stuffed it in a bag. As Glinsky handed out the rest of the gifts I kept dazing off thinking about the tingle in my lips that is still there. Everytime Taylor took a glance at me, he would smile, like he knew exactly what he was doing. Nash kept giving me glances to, I'm In a living hell, but with boys. I walked outside to try and breath. What are you doing ariana? I kept my eyes on the trees that were swaying back and forth, in a rhythm.

"Hey ari." Someone said. I turned around and it was taylor.

"Hey taylor."

"Look about that kiss, I'm sorry, I know your goin through a lot, it was stupid to-"

"Stop." I said cutting him off.

"Why?" He asked looking at me confused. I sighed and kept my eyes on the city.

"I liked it." I whispered. I knew he was smirking behind my back.

"It was still wrong." He sighed standing next to me,"I mean I don't regret it." He said in his strong indiana accent making me laugh.

"Honestly taylor," I sighed causing him to look at me,"I think I'm in love with you."

"What?"

"At the airport, for some reason, my instinct was to say, I love you taylor..and I said it..I thought about you, and nash, but mostly you, the whole time you were gone. I don't know what's happening." I sighed putting my hands to my head.

Taylor wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his chest.

"And then this is the problem." I cried pulling away,"you kiss me, and I kiss you back, you hold me in your arms, which is a place I wanna be forever, but I cant. Because I'm in love with him too, how, does that happen?"

He sighed,"I know, but I- dawn it I can't say it, ariana, you do what ever you need to do to figure things out. " he said starting to walk away.

"Taylor say it," I said wiping the few tears from my eyes.

He put his hands to his head and let out a huge breath,"if you really loved him, why did you fall in love with me?" I stared at him not knowing what to say. He waited for a response that I didn't have and walked back inside. I stood there on the balcony not knowing what to do.