Disenchantment Sagas

Hilda

     King Zong of Dreamland woke up feeling refreshed on this fine Friday morning. He let out a loud yawn and stretched his arms. "I feel so refreshed on this fine Friday morning!" said Zog gleefully. He turned to Oona, who was lying on the other side of the bed. "Good morning, my beautiful queen!" He softly patted her side.

Oona waved his hand away, annoyed. "Meh..." she groaned.

"I have my queen, this kingdom, this nice bed, and my—wait, what?" Zog looked at the counter to the right, where he always placed his crown. "Hey! Where is my crown?!" He bellowed. Zog looked forward and saw two little demons standing at the entrance of his bedroom door. One of them had his crown and was playing with it. "HEY! YOU LITTLE RODENTS! GIVE ME BACK MY CROWN!" Zog yanks the covers off and rushes towards them, fully naked.

The demons laughed and ran off down the stone hallways. "Get back here—WHOA!" Zog tripped over a demon lying about in the hallways and began tumbling down the stairs. "OW! OW! OW! DOH! OW! AH! WHY DO WE DESIGN CASTLES WITH SO MANY STAIRS?" He yelped in pain as he kept tumbling until Zog finally met the bottom, where he lay flat on his back in the middle of the stone floor. "Ooooooh..." He groaned.

"Hey, Zog," said Koga, stepping over Zog and continuing on his way.

"ooooweee...." Zog whined.

***

Zog was eventually picked up and taken back to the master bedroom. He lay with an ice pack on his head, surrounded by his family, Bean, Tavish, Derek, and Oona, castle maid bunty, and his royal adviser, Odval. Zog was letting out a whine as bunty wrapped up Zog's head with some bandages.

"There, there, Your Majesty, you're going to be just fine," Bunty reassured as she tightened the bandages.

Zog let out a yelp. "Jeez bunty, would you take it easy!"

"It depends if my next pay bounces," She replied sweetly as she walked out of the room.

Zog let out a miserable sigh as his head hit the pillow. "We have to do something about those cats. They lounge around, get in the way, steal food, and make snarky remarks at my weight!"

"That doesn't sound any different from what we normally do," said Bean.

"At first, I liked having them around the castle. Then they started stealing my drugs," said Oona. 

"We could have animal control come to the castle and get rid of these rodents," Odval suggested. "There should be enough to round them up, although I heard that they are short-handed since they still have trouble dealing with that bear spotted on the outskirts of Dreamland."

"No, not animal control!" said Derek. "Do you know what happens to animals that they take?"

"Yeah, to a nice farm where they can all live happily ever after frolicking in the flowers with their new owners!" said Zog, smiling.

Derek frowned at him. "Father, even I know that's not true,"

"What is that not what happens?" Zog said, confused.

That's when Bean's eyes widened with a sudden realization. "Oh my god, I have an idea!" she blurted out. "Why don't we gather up all of the dem—I mean, gather up all of the cats and just give them to the townsfolk who want them?"

Derek gleams. "That's a part of my socialist utopia idea!"

"Derek, please, enough of that nonsense," Odval scowled. "Socialism...ugh."

"Sister, I don't believe anyone in this kingdom would want one of these...cats," said Tavish.

"Everyone loves cats!" said Bean, thrilled. "I mean, who doesn't like getting free stuff? Annnnnd...it'll make you look good among the townsfolk Tav. Just picture it: The prince of Dreamland giving out adorable pets to everyone; it'll be great!"