46. PANCHI

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  "But he's my dad not Rohan bhaiya's" I protested. In just one moment my world had turned upside down when my dad left me forever. I've been trying my best to put up a brave face, why? Because that's what dad taught me when my mo- she left. Dad was my only family, and now my relatives want someone who barely knew my dad to perform his last rites.

"Enough of your nonsense girl" Saroj maami held my wrist. I opened my mouth to speak but before could put up my argument, I felt a warm hand on my knuckles. It was Vihang. My eyes fell on those long fingers, I didn't need to look up to know it was Vihang. His touch was now etched on my skin. "Leave her" he said, his gaze burning holes in Saroj maami.

She freed me from her grip without even blinking, terror evident in her eyes. Vihang inspected my wrist, asking me if I was ok. I nodded in response, but he kept holding my hand. He then again, turned to look at everyone standing in the audience, watching all that was happening from past ten minutes.

"Panchi will perform her dad's last rites, and anyone who has a problem can talk to me" he said taking me with him towards the ground. I walked behind him, my eyes fixed on our interlocked fingers. "Pandit ji, you start the pooja" he said.

I sat there in silence remembering my dad and my dida, tears forming in my eyes. Before anyone could notice I cleaned my eyes, but one tear somehow fell and before I reached it, I felt a thumb on my cheek. Needless to say, it was Vihang. I suppressed the urge to look at him and focused on the rituals.

After finishing all the rituals and bidding my last goodbye to dad, we came back home. The sun had almost set, and just like that I was an orphan now. The realization dawned upon me when I stood there in the middle of my house, staring at dad's room, waiting for him to come out and shout at me for not sitting properly or using too much phone.

"P, are you ok?" Sid's voice reached my ears. I stared at him, not knowing what to say. I simply gave him a half smile and nodded. Before he or anyone could ask me something I don't have answers to, I excused myself and went to my room. I loud bang on my door caught my attention soon after I locked it.

"Panchi beta, are you in there" I recognized my naana's voice so I opened the door. He came in and sat down at the bed. I too settled beside him, keeping a good amount of distance between us. We sat there in silence, mostly because being with him was awkward since we weren't really close so I didn't know what to say. Just when I thought he won't say anything either, he spoke.

"I'm sorry I abandoned you all those years ago. I regret it everyday" he said. I remained silent, but tears fell from my eyes. Then again after a pause, he spoke. "But now I want to rectify my mistakes and take care of you" his words making my chest heavy. I wanted to say so many things, ask him a thousand questions.

"I want that you come and stay with us. I know your maami may not like this, but I want to take the responsibility of finding a suitable match for you and securing your future" his declaration felt like a heavy rock thrown at me. My brows drew together forming a frown as I met his gaze.

In that moment, I just saw an old man who was obliged to take in an orphan girl and marry her off into a rich family as a trophy wife. I filled my lungs with all the air I could gather before speaking. "Naana, I respect you" I did irrespective of whatever happened in the past. "And I have no grudge against you. But" I said in the politest way possible.

"I know my dad has died and my" I paused because there is no power in the world that can make me except that women as my mother. "Your daughter was dead to me years ago. But naana, I'm not any charity case you can adopt to feel less guilty" I said.

He looked at me like I had confessed a murder. I ignored his stare and continued. "I appreciate your effort and your concern. But I'm an adult now and can take care of myself, irrespective of what you or your society thinks" I said, emphasizing on the last part.

Before any of us could say anything, Kavya came and called me out for some work. I nodded and told her I'd be out in a minute. I stood up to leave but turned towards naana and said "Naana, I'd love to have you in my life, but to support me not to decide my life for me. I'm capable of doing that myself" I left without waiting for his reply or any reaction.

It was late but I convinced everyone to leave and go home. Obviously all my relatives, including my naana, maama and maami left. It took a little extra effort to convince them but eventually they left. "You all can leave too. I'm fine, really" I said but all four of them ignored me and started unfolding the sheets to make bed. I sighed but silently also thanked God for all giving me the best friends I could possibly have. 

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