Chapter 1

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I am smiling as i walk around the store... I was having cravings and drove all the way here for their cheesecake. I could have gone to a store closer to home... But they had this cheesecake here... I was humming with a smile as i was happy with the result of my little hunting trip already in my cart... I walk down the aisle and i can't resist to pick up a few more things... It is like a little scavenger hunt for all my favorite snacks... I am rubbing my belly...

"Kate?!" I hear in an all too familiar voice... I used to hear that voice a lot... At least once a week for family dinner... But that has been a long time ago... I take a deep breath before i turn around... "Lisa..." I say all chirpy plastering a forced smile on my face as she pulls me into a hug and i hug her back... I love Lisa i really do, but with Lisa comes her kids... 3 of them i did not mind... The 4th... Well let's say we did not split on the best of terms. And although it has been over a decade ago it still hurts... I moved on... I gave it a place in my heart but still... It hurts even thinking about it.... I think some hurt is just too much to really get over...

The one moment i was on cloud nine. Chris on his knee in front of me asking me to marry him... Me saying yes and the 2 weeks living in complete bliss... Being happy...Him asking me to marry him would make you think that he wants to be with you in sickness and in health that you can handle anything... But when i got diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks later in a routine checkup, everything went out the window and my life crumbled around me... Chris turned distant and 2 weeks later he broke off the engagement saying he couldn't do it... It broke me... He left me in a time i needed him the most. In a month, i went from feeling on top of the world to a dark place with little to no light...

I heard he was back in town for a while, taking a break from whatever he was doing... I try my best not to keep up with his life although that is sometimes hard... He is in the height of his career, and you see and hear him everywhere... My little eyes and ears, also known as my spy always would tell me when he was back in town so i could make sure not to run into him to be vigilant... But with Lisa standing in front of me i was on high alert... The last thing i need is the stress of Chris in my vicinity...

"I heard the great news... Congratulations..." She says cupping my face in a motherly manor... I blush and smile... "Show me the ring..." She says and i giggle... "Damn... That man of yours has great taste..." Lisa says and i blush... "I heard you have a little one on the way?" She asks and i blush and nod again... "Yes... I am 23 weeks now..." I say rubbing my belly and she hugs me again... "That is so great... You are glowing..." She says but there is a sadness in her eyes...

I know from my little spy that Lisa had been heartbroken about the breakup... I hated that... I hated to see her sad but i couldn't do anything about it... I could not comfort her... It was too painful. I dont know the exact details but apparently, she had not spoken for Chris for weeks... This was unheard of for the both of them. They normally would call once a week or more... I knew eventually she would forgive him though. She had called me and said whatever i needed she would be there for me. But i just couldn't... I needed a break from that family to heal...

But when i look up i see him... My breath hitches in my throat as he is looking at Lisa and i from a distance as if he is frozen in place... Our eyes meet for a split second but i quickly look away... "I have to go... Late for an appointment..." I say as i feel it is getting harder to breath... "Okay... Sweetie... It was really nice seeing you again... Maybe come by for tea sometimes... You know to catch up... Just you and i..." She says her voice a little shaky and i smile... A genuine smile... Because even though Chris broke me and i hated him for it making me want nothing to do with him anymore, it was nice to see Lisa, she and i always gotten along great and i loved her like a mother...

"It was really nice to see you again to... I will see when i have time and will let you know... Maybe we can do lunch soon..." I say and we hug one more time... "I am holding you to that... I miss you..." She whispers and i nod fighting my tears before i rush to the register adamant that he was not going to be the reason i would not get my cheesecake... After all this i needed my cheesecake. I paid, grateful that there was no long line at the register before i rushed out the door and to my car...

My hands were shaking as put my groceries in back of my car... Even just seeing him in the distance made me feel like no time had passed... As if he had just broken my heart all over again and every emotion came rushing back... Thank God i didn't need a key to open the doors as it was a brand-new car because i dont think i could get a key in the door to safe my life... The car was a gift for my birthday from Elliot... My fiancé... When we found out i was pregnant, he proposed. A year after getting together we started to try for a baby, but it took 2 years... After our little one is born, we will get married in a small simple ceremony. Just family and a few friends. Low key... No muss no fuss...

I had met Elliot 3 years ago... He was the first man i would let in again... He put the pieces of my heart together again. Was it an all-consuming love like i had with Chris... No... But he feels safe. He is dependable and sweet. Is he perfect... No... But he is good enough. I know it sounds harsh but after Chris, Elliot is what i need. If there is one thing i had learned was that giving a relationship your all, diving in and having that all-consuming love will eventually lead to heart break and pain... So much pain...

I had just closed the door when i froze... Still after a decade i recognized his scent... He was standing behind me much to close... It was like time stood still and part of me told me to not turn around hoping he would disappear... This can't be happening, why couldn't he leave well enough alone...

"Kate?" A soft voice said and i took a deep breath before letting out a sigh... It took everything in me to stay calm... I need to stay calm for my baby... I turn around and look at him and he flinches a little as i give him and ice-cold look... He scratches his neck... He is nervous... I still know his ticks... He always scratches his neck when he is nervous... He looks older... Even more handsome, i hate it... I hate that time has been good to him... 

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