"You're always mad," they often tell me.
I bet I don't owe 'em an explanation of the way I am and the way they perceive me. Yet, I'll tell you something. You don't know me.
This mad, this insane, this stubborn me is a facade of a vulnerable woman I don't want anyone to see. It's easier to be mad than admit that you're darn hurt and broken. It's easier to appear like a villain when the truth is you're the victim of some tragedy. Because we don't want to receive pity. We don't want people to look at us and see a weak being nor a crybaby.
Don't tell me how stubborn I am 'coz I'm well aware of my actions and behavior. I'd prefer you looking at me and seeing a heartless persona than seeing a girl who've been broken by traumas.
No one likes a madwoman. Why did you make her mad anyway?
Why am I always mad? 'Coz damn I'm always sad. It hurts but you'll never see me aching. My eyes were sore but tears don't dare fall. I'll be longing for someone to comfort me but I'll push you all away. You'll never see me crying nor begging to be saved even when I'm in the midst of my darkest nights and monstrous storms. I'm a villain and villains don't die easily. I don't need you to aid nor heal my wounds. You weren't there when I needed you all the most.
I'm the bad person now. In great distress and pain, you can never see me bawl.
Rain
YOU ARE READING
HER JOURNAL
Non-FictionIt includes real life situations and events. A glimpse of HER thoughts. Contains poems, quotes and prose. A journal of a girl we'll just call Rain. Isn't it interesting to read someone's journal? She say's, "Sometimes, it's better to let a stranger...
