She led me to him (Werewolf story)

Chapter 91: I don't blame you...

Serah POV

"Here. I'm bringing back all of the stuff he forgot at mine."

Jealousy took over and my knuckles were begging to paint her back in red. But why the f*ck would she have so much of his stuff at her place and it didn't smell innocent. Not a bit.

...

I contained my outburst with the little left of will power I had but I knew it wasn't enough. The sky was bright outside so Jay was still in his office working. He had to deal with this because I couldn't draw a line with my feelings.

And all they wanted was an explanation and they wanted her not breathing, at least not next to me.

"Jay's not here, just go to his office and give him the box."

Her eyes sharpen making her green eyes darken with malice.

"Why should I carry this box to his office when he'll have to carry it back to his room, you make no sense."

A smile that I forced out of my face came out but the joy never reached my eyes. How could I? I felt like the homewrecker when she was clearly the one not knowing her place.

"Honey, your box won't ever make it, not when I'm the owner of his spare key. I could burn the waste now but I think I should be respectful enough so I'll let Jay do it."

The look on her face was amusing, her composure shattered but somehow, her irritated expression was taken over with a tad bit of sadness. Without another word, she turned around making her heels resonate in the corridor.

I closed the door, tired that I had to tend to his left over crumbs.

My head was hurting with the simple thought of her around Jay.

...

It had been fifteen minutes. I tried to sit down and relieve my headache but the door with a sound reverberating all around the room.

The man whom I should be calling my other half came in unannounced, making the pain worsen.

I closed my eyelids welcoming the dark but he was keen in keeping me in his world full of perturbation.

"It's not what you think."

God what did it even mean?

"And what am I thinking actually?"

His delicate steps grew louder, until his breath could be felt, his heartbeat was heretic as if fear had taken over his being.

He deposed his hands on mine, sharing our sparkles and his emotions. I slowly open my eyes, my eyelashes fluttering to the abundant light.

His face came into view and his anxious blue were tearing me apart.

"I wouldn't be able to put some words on it, but I could feel it, your repulsion, your disgust, your distrust..."

I pulled him in for a chaste kiss, me holding tight on his shirt and our eyes exchanging wordless glances.

His blond mess was covering half his face and I moved them out so I could get a clearer view of his distressed expression.

"We're past this, are we not?"

I asked in a whisper.

His hands caressed my exposed neck and went for my long strands. His fingers were lost in the dark strands and this simple gesture was almost making me purr.

He lodged his head on the crook of my neck when he saw an opening trailing my skin with soft kisses.

"I'm sorry, if I knew my past would hinder our bond I-"

"You would have what? As if you can change what happened. I'm not blaming you for your history but for the fact that you waver whenever she comes into equation, like you're making me feel like she will always own a part of your heart and-"

He cupped my face in his hands making my thoughts stop from getting out of my mouth.

"It has nothing to do with what I feel towards her, my heart is yours and yours only. I made a mistake and shared my body with another. That was it, what is holding me back regarding Dina is that I owe her, I owe her a lot."

Finally, I might get the answer to why that girl always acted haughty as if my mate would always have her back.

"Then tell what do you f*cking owe her?"

"A mate, I owe her a life, a bond she would never experience."

He cried out pain rising in his chest. His chiseled jaw dropped on my shoulder making any eye contact invisible.

I brushed his hair, running my comfort through his dark mess of gold.

"What do you mean?"

His hot breath on my shivering flesh, his trembling voice never left my collar bone.

"I killed him, her other half, I killed her mate. Unless a miracle happens, she'd be mateless for the rest of her life.

And I thought, sharing our loneliness could atone for my sins but everything keeps getting worse as if every single decision I make was only the worst possible outcome."

Now, his tears made home on me, damping the top I was wearing. I hugged him closer and his arms crushed me into the warmest of embrace.

His sadness took over and my eyes started to water.

"You would never know, you had to make a decision and you did. You can't go back anyway, so assume them and even if the consequences are hard to bear, then I'll lend you my shoulder."

He hugged me harder, a bit more relieved but I was still curious.

"But could you tell me what happened that made you so hung up on this."

His hands slides on my waist and his eyes back to my face. His expression filled with shame and sadness.

I was about to tell him that he didn't need to tell but he voiced out things I didn't I would have to hear again.

"The day Jess was driven away from our territory, it was only possible because someone helped from the inside. That person was Dina's mate.

Without trial, without any witness I killed him when I knew he was involved.

However, after a thorough investigation, it seemed that he was innocent."

His eyes trembled, and his hands were no longer steady. But his voice continued to ring in my ears.

"Serah, I killed an innocent, I deprived a family of their son and I forever doomed someone's mate to be alone forever without ever feeling the gift of the Moon goddess."

His guilt was all over the room, invading my frozen body. I didn't know how to feel but I shamelessly thought that I knew he was someone like that, someone impulsive to take hasty decisions, that's how we first met.

His body started taking small steps back with his crouched position and his eyes wide open, I tried to reach for him but his eyes faded through his tears.

"What do you think of me? You don't even seem surprised..."

I closed my eyes moving on the ground, leaving the comfort of my chair to comfort my mate. I sighed and I couldn't believe that I was about to lie because all that mattered was to have him out of this negative loop.

"Jay. You can't do anything about it now. All you can do is becoming a better person, you have it in you-"

"Serah, just answer me honestly; Do you blame me for something more specific right now? Please, I need to hear it."

It was at this moment that I knew that I didn't need to think or word out in my head, for him to know exactly what I was thinking.

And the thing was there was so much I would blame the Jay that I met for the first time that my heart couldn't differentiate him from the man that I fell for today.

...

Sorry I owe you two more chapters, they're coming. I promise, just been going out a lot lately so I was neglecting my book a bit.

Anyway, thank you for waiting.