the bargaining

love doesnt live here anymore

I settled for lust
just because lust is better than nothing
whenever I try to love someone,
it always turns cold,
it always melts,
It never stays the same,
It changes like the seasons,
it's bitter to the taste,
It's tougher to the touch,
I discovered that love isn't for me,
Love isn't for this lonely soul,
Love isn't for this person who's filled up with so much guilt,
Pain,
Hatred,
Love isn't something I should long for,
Love isn't something I should chase
because whenever I do, it always end up
in heartbreak,
Bloody tears down the eyes,
squeezing pain in the chest ,
and new trauma that will have you questioning everyone for the rest of your life.

so when I say,
I fight for lust,
I will always,
Because fighting for love would be pointless
Why is that?
Because

Love doesn't live here anymore.