the bargaining

love me back

You know what makes me angry
the way you play victim and not once took accountability for bruising my heart, mind , and soul.

I don't think you understand that I'm a fragile girl.
I'm way too sensitive and you knew this in the beginning.
you knew that whenever I love someone, I do the most for them
not really expecting anything back and maybe that's my problem.

my problem is no matter how people treat me,
or how less they give me,
I will still end up loving them so freely,
so passionately,
so desperately
because I know how it feels to not be loved like that
I know how it feels to beg someone to love you the same way you loved them and I still haven't learned my lesson.

I will always be a lovers girl
no matter if the love turns into hate
no matter if the love wraps around my throat and squeeze it tight making it hard to breathe with the lack of attention I get,
I will always love so big, so easily no matter what.

and that's what gets me angry.

loving people who don't love me back is my priority when my priority should be

loving people who love me back.