the burns on my chest is something that I can take
the bruises all over my body is something that I can take
The marks around my neck is something that I can take
the degrading words is something that I can take
the constant cheating is something that I can take
The constant fighting is something that I can take
The constant begging is something that I can take
The constant urge is something that I can take
The constant pain is something that I can take
The constant tears is something that I can take
The constant fear is something that I can take
but it shouldn't be like that.
I shouldn't be saying I can take this.
but I say it because I love you.
my love is so strong for you and honestly it eats me up inside.
I feel disgusting how much I feel for you even when you do these things to me.
I feel guilty and responsible.
I hate that I can't hate you no matter how hard I tried.
I took all of the abuse because I thought somewhere in that was your love letter to me but instead it was a curse, a hex you casted on me.
I don't know what I'm going to do from here or how I will recover.
I know that my love for you is not going to magically disappear.
I know that my love is so strong for you that nothing will ever break it.
I just know that if I don't get out now, you will give me sudden death.
and I'm a girl
a woman who's been butchered all of her life
I'm a girl
a woman who's been hurt all of her life
but I don't want to die. I don't want you to end me because that little girl inside of me wants to keep living until she finds her dream life and I will fight for her everyday until she gets that.
so yes.
I'm leaving
even if I love you too much
but I love that little girl inside of me way more than I love you.
