the bargaining

unwilling

they say every heart needs to beat
that every heart is precious but fragile
your heart can take so much conflict and pain
but that's until you die of a broken heart then your heart no longers work anymore.
It stops.
The beating stops.
the blood flow vanish.
and you're left there lifeless.

this is how I feel whenever I tell someone that I love them and they continue to show me the reason why being in love isn't in the cards for me.
I hate the words I love you because it says so little to people who doesn't love you back.
It's the fact that people say it to you without even meaning it because they just throw around the word " love" like it's some kind of a game or a sick joke.

so when you say you love me
I don't get excited because I know that most times in my life
the people who " loved me" was always the ones to throw stones behind my back and lie straight to my face and make me feel like I'm not worthy to love.

love is such a strong word but yet people abuse that word and they make the word mean less when it should mean everything in the world.

I rather die of a broken heart than to be told " I love you" by someone who is unable or unwilling to love me.