Your Name

15| "P'Yin feel disgusting with me."

╰┈➤𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐕*ೃ༄

In the quiet of my room, I was consumed by a deep and relentless yearning for P'Yin. The passage of time had only intensified the emptiness that gnawed at my heart. The memories of that fateful night lingered like a haunting specter.

Each day that passed felt like an eternity and I could not shake the nagging fear that P'Yin harbored resentment towards me for everything that happened. My mind was a tumultuous sea of regret and I grappled with the consequences of my actions.

I replayed the events of that night in my mind, every detail etched with painful clarity. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to let my guard down, to let our lips meet and our bodies intertwine. But now, with the benefit of hindsight, I wished I had possessed the foresight to prevent it all from happening.

As I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, I kept blaming myself. I should have been more aware of the potential consequences. I should have stopped P'Yin from kissing me, from touching me, even though every fiber of my being wanted his touch. I should have known that it was a mistake waiting to happen, a moment that P'Yin might come to regret.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I pondered the magnitude of my actions. I miss P'Yin so much...and it felt like a physical pain in my chest.

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THE NEXT DAY

As I stood there, concealed behind a wall in the cafeteria, my eyes fixed on the one I had wronged, the one who seemed to be growing more distant with each passing day, P'Yin. He sat at his usual spot, surrounded by his friends.

In my trembling hands, I held a box of fried rice, meticulously prepared with care and affection. However, I knew that approaching him now would be met with resistance, perhaps even anger. My heart ached with the knowledge of how much I made P'Yin felt uncomfortable with me.

I took a deep breath and tried to muster the courage to approach him, to apologize for my action and to offer the box of fried rice that I made special for him. But doubt gnawed at me. What if he rejected my apology? What if he said that in front of my face that he hates me? The fear of his words paralyzed me, keeping me rooted to my hiding place.

P'Earth's voice suddenly broke through my thoughts, startling me from my clandestine observance of P'Yin. "Hey, what are you doing here?" P'Earth's inquiry caught me off guard.

"Oh, hey, phi," I stammered in response, offering an awkward smile as I hastily adjusted my glasses.

P'Earth returned my smile. "Are you hungry? Let's go grab a bite," P'Earth suggested, his hand extending toward mine.

"It's okay, phi. I'm not really hungry," I mumbled.

Undeterred, P'Earth gently insisted, "Come on, nong. It will be good to take a break and eat something."

Before I could offer any further protest, P'Earth clasped my hand and guided me toward the cafeteria's entrance. My gaze fell to the floor as proximity had drawn the curious eyes of onlookers.

"Earth, over here!" A voice from one of P'Earth's friends called out, prompting him to lead us towards their table.

"Hello, guys. War will be joining us today," P'Earth said with an affable grin.

I offered a polite wai as a greeting. "Sawadeekrap, phi," I said respectfully, bowing slightly in acknowledgment of P'Earth's friends.

Only then did I realize that their table was situated conspicuously close to P'Yin's table. P'Yin's gaze, cold and distant briefly locked with mine but after a while, he quickly averted his eyes and continued his conversation.