Soulmate Cravings

Suspicions

     Sarawat didn't realize how dark his aura had become until he caught Tine's eyes on him and he saw the flash of fear pass through Tine's orbs. Now that the danger had passed and Pear was calmed down, Sarawat grabbed a drink and tried to quell the rage inside of him so his aura would not be dark enough to continue to scare Tine. Tine didn't need more fears and nightmares, especially not from the one who loved him the most.

    Tine refocused his attentions back to soothing Pear. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much that experience would hurt you."

     Pear pulled out with a shocked look on her heartbroken face. "Hurt me? What about you?"

     Tine shook his head and took her hands in his own soothingly. He spoke from the heart, a message not only for Pear, but for Sarawat to hear as well. "It doesn't define me. If I let them define me, then they have an ultimate victory over me and I won't allow that. They don't deserve to have that kind of power over me. It has helped to frame a large part of who I am and how I think. But not in a way that is crippling, instead, it's in a way that is empowering. It helped to shape my obsessions and passions in life. I am stronger because of those things, not weaker, and not someone to be so broken up over. I don't spend my life in a constant state of pain. I don't like the nightmares and the knowledge that they are real has left me angry and I want retribution, but that doesn't change the fact that I am not an unhappy person by any means. I am saddened for my past lives and the family members that they loved, that I once loved, because at one point, they were mine. I grieve for all of them, and it's a little maddening to have those kinds of memories, but it's only a small part of who I am now. So don't cry for me and don't hurt for me. I have a good life. I love what I do. I have friends that are important to me and a family that loves me, and a love that is blossoming into something that transcends the ages in more ways than one. I don't need pity or sympathy. Despite the horrors of my past and the nightmares that plague me, I am OK."

     Pear took a deep breath and smiled. "You are so unbelievably strong. I don't think I could ever survive your haunts and definitely never be ok. You really are amazing," she marveled in awe. She took a deep, steadying breath and remastered herself. "OK, give me a couple of days to unravel everything. Honestly, I'm not used to sifting through so many lives in one soul, but I'll do my best to solve it as quickly as possible. We'll find who's done this and we'll get your retribution."

     Tine laughed and smooshed her little face between his hands. "Well, let's not dive straight into it, yeah? I think we could all use a drink and some laughter. It got way too fucking serious in here. What do you think?"

     Sarawat placed a hand on Tine's shoulder and looked around the group. "The most important thing for the time being is that I need everything that has happened and been discussed here to stay here. No one is to know what happened other than those of us that are here right now."

     Pear held up her hand. "I totally get what you just said. It's just that I know there are timelines that specifically track Tine's bloodline through the ages, and I think they could be really useful to me to help unravel the centuries of hell I just pulled from his blood. Especially now that I have a glimpse into his incarnations and his soul, I could possibly track patterns throughout the span of his bloodline, along with his specific incarnations. I know Pam is the soul expert and has been the one that's been tracking Tine's soul. I feel it's safe to assume she is the one who knows where the timelines are. And since Tine is here now, she doesn't really need them to track him anymore. So is it possible to get my hands on those? I mean, I know that you've said no before. I was just hoping, under the circumstances, you would agree this time."

     Sarawat gave Pear a confused look. "You never asked for the timelines before for me to have denied you, Pear."

     Pear wrinkled her forehead. "I did though, I mean it's been a few centuries now, but Man and Type were talking about the growing frustration of not being able to track down Namcha's soul, so I asked Pam for access to the timelines, to see if I could spot something you guys may have missed. She said she would have to get your permission first, but when she came back to me a few days later, she said you'd said no. You didn't want anyone else to see them for fear of duplicity or something like that."