Beyond

184

*Zion

I heard Milan pull up in the yard. I was still sitting in the front so, I slipped my shoes on and went to help her. I opened the door for her and then helped her out. I went to the backseat and I saw he was up with his toes on his mouth.

"Ewwww you nasty..." I said in a baby tone while grabbing him outta his seat

"What he's doing??" She asked

"Got his toes in his mouth..." I said getting the rest of his things

We went into the house, I locked the door and then sat on the couch.

"Did he eat anything??" I asked sitting him on the couch between us

"No, he and King slept until it was time to go. I was just going to breastfeed him..." she said

"He got more baby food in there too..." I said and she nodded before yawning

"You tired??" I asked

"Slightly, yeah..." she said looking at me

"Gone shower and get in bed. Imma feed him and once he is asleep I'll head up so we can talk..." I said

"Okay..." she said scooting to the edge of the couch before getting up
"Don't take too long na, I'll go to sleep..."

"I won't..." I said

She went upstairs. We watched her go upstairs and then looked at each other.

"You hungry??" I asked

He crawled to my lap and pulled on my shirt standing himself up. He started babbling while dropping down and standing back up constantly. I sat him on the floor and headed to the kitchen with him behind me. We've been teaching him how to walk. He took his first step about 2 weeks ago, but he hasn't grasped the full concept yet.

I grabbed some of his food and then picked him up to sit him in his chair. I sat in front of him and fed him. He did more talking to me than he did eating. I heard Milan enter the kitchen.

"What is he talking about??" She asked walking up to us smiling rubbing her belly

"I don't know, he's been talking this whole time..." I said
"You okay??"

"Yes, why you asked??" She asked going into the fridge

"Just asking..." I said feeding him more

She sat down at the table with us with strawberries and cream cheese, her favorite snack.

"I think we should gone talk cuz I don't think he's going to sleep no time soon. He went to sleep for almost 2 hours..." she said looking at me chewing

"Okay..." I said
"It's a lot happened when I got down there. That's why I didn't want you to go. I don't care about them talking and being ugly to me. But with you and Zaylin, I do. I won't think twice about them being my family..."

I wiped Zaylin's mouth.

"Before I first arrived down there, I wanted to go visit my parents grave. They were buried at a private grave at my dad's family church. So I went to go visit and their tombstone wasn't there. I thought maybe I had forgotten where they were since I hadn't been in a while. I looked all ova and didn't see them..." I said as she came closer to me

"What happened??" She asked

"My aunt was the beneficiary ova them because I wasn't old enough. And because the grave was private, they couldn't see them like they wanted without permission. So my aunt without my knowledge or approval moved them to a public cemetery..." I said

"Baby..." she said softly grabbing my hand

"She knew they didn't want that. How can a person be so selfless and inconsiderate about stuff like that? I literally went to the house and blew up, how could you? Those are my fucking parents. My uncle had to physically remove me from the house. I was so angry that couldn't stay there. I stayed at the hotel the whole time. The whole time I was there they were saying slick shit, but I didn't let it faze me until the last day. She called me to come by. I thought that she called to apologize, but that wasn't the case. She talked about me to my face. How I was disgusting and how shouldn't have come down. Didn't nobody want me down there. They were happy my parents had passed cuz they didn't have to see me on a regular. How she never considered me to be family. How she would never accept Zaylin. How you only want me for what I can do for you and the pleasure I give you. How you would never love me and you just using me. That you'll never love me and you'll eventually leave me to be with a real man..." I said with tears falling without my knowledge
"That's why I have been so distant. I was in my head. I know you love me for who I am, but because I've been going through it with them for so long. There's always this little voice in the back of my head saying that I'm not worthy. No one will ever put up with me. No one will love me full term...

She grabbed both of my hands.

"Zion..." she said softly

I turned and looked towards the front room not looking at her.

"Look at me..." she said

I turned and looked into her eyes.

"Baby, I love you. No, I'm in love with you and I want you to know that. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have put up with everything. I put up with it cuz I love you and I want you. I had a chance to back outta this shit before, but I didn't cuz I love you. You aren't disgusting, a disgrace, or any of those things she said to you. You are unique and beautifully made. You are an amazing woman who I got the pleasure to call mine. You are an amazing Mom, you care about Bubba so much and I'm sure you'll do anything for him and our plus one. You are worthy of all the love you have. From me, from our babies, from our friends, your chosen family, and from your parents. I'm positive that they are proud of the woman you've become. They are amazed at everything you've accomplished. We are here long term, I promise. Like I told you before, you're not getting rid of me and I meant that..." she said before wiping my eye

"I love you..." I said

She smiled at me and moved closer.

"I love you too..." she said

I leaned in and softly kissed her. The kiss was very passionate and love-filled. We slowly pulled away but our foreheads were pressed against each other. We heard Zaylin let a breath out then he farted. We both busted out laughing.