Not Today but Forever

Don't Leave Me

"See? Look at how big the campus is." Nathan pointed to certain parts of the college that he was going to attend but I just kept looking down at my fingernails.

Washington. Washington. Washington. Washing- "Larrea, are you okay?" Nathan touched my shoulder slightly which made me leave my trance. "No, I'm not okay Nathan. I'm not fucking okay."

I felt tears about to go down my eyes as my leg shook quickly up and down but before I could get even more emotional, Nathan pulled me into a hug.

"Breathe Larrea, breathe." I tried to move out of Nathan's grip since I was so frustrated and so sad because he had to go away but I slowly gave into his hug.

"Nathan, please don't leave me, don't leave florida for college, please." I looked up at Nathan practically begging him to not leave me but all I got in return was his eyebrows furrowing and his expression turning into a frown.

At the same time, I know it's selfish of me to try to get Nathan to stay but a lot of people dont get it. I grew up with him since 4th grade, he was there when nobody else was, he was my only friend from kids until now, and he knows me more than I could even know myself.

He even knows about my father.

"Rea, listen to me okay? Let's try to make the rest of this senior year the best senior year ever okay? It's not like I'm leaving you right now. It's just us this senior year together...and not just today.."

Nathan moved a piece of my hair out my face and placed his hand on my chin so he could rise it up to his face.

"But forever."

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"You have to promise to call me every night, you have to at least text me a heart emoji when you say goodbye, and at least send an envelope filled with hearts every year on Valentine's day okay?" Nathan laughed as I was saying all this but I was so serious.

Anything can happen and he probably wont know it! I could probably die the next day or even worse, he could.

"Nathan you must call every night! What if you die?!" I yelled at him loudly but he covered my mouth quickly. That's when I just remembered that we were in a café and some people were glancing at us.

Oh please, you would react the same way if your husband or boyfriend had to leave you for a long time.

"Rea, I think you need to start taking your pills again." I glared at Nathan and he looked away. "Shut the fuck up idiot." I groaned then slouched in my seat.

"Looks like someone is on her monthly..." Nathan mumbled but I heard him as he sipped his iced coffee.

Nathan sucks at mumbling oh my gosh.

When I was younger, I had to take sleeping pills so I could fall asleep at night. I would always have insomnia because I would have horrible nightmares of my father. It started when one night he disappeared and my mother and I had no idea where he went. We both tried to call him but he wasn't picking up.

Soon, he came two days later and my mother was furious. I have never seen her so angry in my life. I forgot what happened afterwards but all I know is that she didn't talk to father for 3 days even though we live in the same house.

"To be honest Nathan, I feel like it will be fun, yeah. While you're there living your life and finding little blondes to be on your left and right shoulder, guess where i will be? In college here waiting for you to come back." I looked up at Nathan angrily and he just looked down at me with a smirk.

He opened his car door for me as a rant about how I'm basically going to be dead in Miami all alone but he just sighed as he finally sat down. I looked at him then started to scream different "what ifs" but before I could continue, Nathan gripped my chin and kissed me.

My eyes widened but then he backed away leaving me there with my lips parted and my eyes still widened. "I will call you every night, I will text at least one heart emoji with every goodbye I send, and on every Valentine's day I promise I will send you an envelope filled with hearts. Okay?"

I nodded my head slowly then just sat back in my seat. I looked out the window silently while still blushing.

That really shut me up, I should talk more often.

"Can we go to your place? I don't feel like going home yet." I smiled at Nathan with my cheeks still pink while he nodded his head. "Sure."

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*LITTLE MATURE SCENE*

"N-Nathan fuck!" I moaned in Nathan's ear as he fingered me while I straddled his lap. He kept kissing my neck and sucking on it leaving hickeys.

Before all of this, Nathan drove me to his place. We sat in silence then I looked at him. I decided to ask if we could kiss again because i couldn't do it back but then one thing led to another and next thing you know, i'm on his lap while still being in the car.

"W-wait im c-cumming!" I moaned loudly as Nathan fingered me deeper and faster. I gripped his shirt then leaned down a little placing my head on his shoulder as my body trembled.

Nathan took his hand out my pants and shoved his fingers into my mouth. "Good girl."

I licked his fingers clean then Nathan kissed me deeply while putting my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He opened his car door then pulled back from the kiss, he got up and out the car while making me hold onto him.

He quickly went to his front door and into his house not even deciding to go to his bedroom. He closed the front door behind him then walked over to his couch placing me on it. He climbed on top of me and hovered over me while grabbing my wrist and pinning them above my head.

Suddenly Nathan kissed my neck again but took off my shirt so he could see my bra and cleavage.
He kissed down my chest to my cleavage then to my stomach.

"Nathan wait..'' I mumbled softly but loud enough for him to hear me. "What happened?" He unpinned my arms and looked at me leaving one last kiss on my cleavage.

"We shouldn't, we broke up. Just best friends." I looked up at Nathan with a little pout and he paused for a minute to think. "I'm sorry, You're right." He sighed and got off of me, letting me pick up my shirt and put it back on.

We sat there in silence for a moment. How awkward.

"I'm going to um...get some food." Nathan got up and walked away from me while I was still on his couch.

I'm not going to lie, I was really sexually frustrated but I can't give in. We are just best friends now, nothing more and soon he will be off to college. I don't even want to bring up how far he will be. I would just start to tear up again.

Nathan came back into the living room with 2 sandwiches and handed me one. "You look a little glum, what's the matter?" Nathan gently pinched my cheek which made me giggle and roll my eyes as I pushed his hand gently back.

"I just keep thinking about how you're going to college in Washington and how i will be alone, i'm happy that you get to live your dream though Nathan." Nathan soon sighed and put his sandwich down. He pulled me into his arms and I felt myself begin to tear up.

"I promise you Larrea, no matter how far i am or how long i will be gone, i will always be there with you. Forever." I glanced up at Nathan as two tears went down my cheeks.

"Promise?"

Nathan smiled. "I promise."

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I love you guys <3