Not Today but Forever

Feelings

School ended and i grabbed my stuff out my locker still feeling embarrassed and humiliated from what happened earlier with the drunk video Chloe sent out of me. Worst part is that the video is still going around and i still hear little giggles and whispers about me.

I always try to ignore others peoples thoughts and feelings about me. Its none of my business of what they think, whatever goes through their head stays in their head. They might be going through stuff like me and think that I'm living my life. Sometimes I can't hold back and I have to say something or do something but when I do it's an issue so I back out.

I soon walked out of the school only to see Nathan there waiting. That's when I finally remembered that Nathan was coming to my house to chill out with me.

As i was walking up to him he looked at me and smiled but too many thoughts were going through my head. What if we kiss again? What if we get too intimate? What if i get pregnant? Worst of all, what if Nathan said he hopes our kiss meant nothing.

I felt like i was about to pass out right then and there but Nathan broke me out of my thoughts which made me realize how close i was to him almost bumping into him. I looked up at him and he looked down at me then suddenly hugged me.

"If you wanted a hug you could've just said that?" He suddenly did a cocky smirk and i punched him lightly. "Oh shut up i was daydreaming, so we heading to my place or what?" Nathan nods his head and we walk to his car together.

I sat at the passengers side and noticed Chloe looking at me with a glare as i looked out the window back at my school. Chloe suddenly smirked but Nathan drove off.

I hope she isn't planning anything else, this is senior year, not freshman year when people could just forget things.

Nathan pulled in front of my house and we got out together walking up to my front door. "If my dad says something weird just-" "Just ignore him and do a slight chuckle then walk away." I looked at Nathan a little in shocked as he smirked at me and looked away.

I rolled my eyes then opened the door to see my father already at the door about to leave. My father glared at Nathan then walked past us.

"Use condoms" my father said to both of us before he got into his car and drove off making me and Nathan look away from each other with our cheeks turning pink.

We headed inside to be greeted by my mother who squeezed Nathans cheeks like she hasn't seen him in years.

When my mother met Nathan's mother, they instantly became best friends, that's how me and Nathan also got closer. The best memory I remember when I knew Nathan was my best friend is when he gave me all his special action figures to play with even though they were very fragile and he didn't trust anybody with them.

My mother soon continued to cook while i took Nathan upstairs to my room. We both went in together and i closed the door behind him as he looked around my room.

"I love it, it's so calming and neat." Nathan smiled to himself as he sat on my bed. I soon sat next to him and smiled softly at him admiring him.

Tonight i was going to make sure it was fun.

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It hit 12:00 pm on my phone and me and Nathan were watching movies while eating popcorn and asking questions.

"Have you ever peed yourself in public" I looked at him as we both were laid down on my bed munching on popcorn. "Okay only once but i was scared shitless! When I was 11 and that clown popped out of nowhere I couldn't help it! It was a horror house for fucksake!"

I laughed hardly at Nathan and he rolled his eyes at me. "My turn, have you ever..had feelings for me?"

I suddenly looked at Nathan and he looked at me. "No i have not, i would never." Nathan suddenly smirked at me and rolled his eyes. "Sure, who wouldn't like this handsome man you are laying next to?"

I laughed and punched him lighty and he smiled at me. "When you laugh i get happy you know." Nathan made me blush when he said that. I don't know why I blushed so much but I did.

Nathan and I both looked at each other for a little and I saw Nathan glance at my lips. I soon looked away and gripped my shorts a little.

"Am I making this awkward? I'm sorry Rea." Nathan chuckled and I giggled a little. "Y- you're not im just..shy you know.."

Nathan smiled at me and put his hand on mine. "Its okay." I felt myself soon put my head on Nathan's shoulder and felt his head lay on top of my head.

I started to realize that I have deep feelings for Nathan, and it's weird for me to admit it since he's my bestfriend but he makes me feel things that nobody else could. When he touches me my body aches for more. That night when he kissed me, I kept imagining what would happen if I didn't stop. He could have taken my virginity.

"Nathan" I whispered to him half asleep. "Yes rea?" i felt his eyes land on me and i suddenly felt nervous still half asleep.

"Do you..like a girl?" Nathan hesitated but then answered.

"I will tell you when I feel like it's the right time and moment, and especially when you are ready to hear it, my Larrea."