Not Today but Forever

Party Girl

It was 10:50 pm on my phone and I waited for my parents to fall asleep. I already had my clothes on to go out while my hair was out and brushed down and my mascara was done.

I was just wearing jeans and a tight sweater and I know that I should wear something more dressy-ish but I didn't want to look like a slut going to that stupid party, especially since I am an outcast and invisible to a lot of people.

When people hear my name in school, they don't even know who I am and it's pretty embarrassing.

I checked my phone again and it hit 11:11 pm which I knew was time to head out with Nathan. I got up and put my ear against my wall to hear my parents bedroom then heard my dad snoring. I texted Nathan telling him that he could come then put my phone in my back pocket of my jeans.

I went out my window and waited on the roof for him. As I looked up in the sky, I admired the stars and smiled to myself a little as my hair blew in the wind slightly. It was pretty chilly out but I got used to it.

I remember when I was 12, I walked through rain with only jeans and a short sleeved shirt on because I thought it wasn't going to be sunny all day, so it was basically freezing. It was embarrassing and I was shivering, but I was glad that I made it home safe.

I saw Nathan's car pull up and I jumped down from the roof like before as he pulled up next to me.

Nathan looked pretty snazzy as he wore a button up white shirt with black slacks and his hair slightly messy.

I got into his car and he looked at me up and down. "I thought you were going to wear a dress or something?" I looked at him and laughed a little. "A dress? Are you serious? The day I wear a dress is the day I fall in love."

Nathan laughed slightly at me and we made eye contact. "You look beautiful anyways Larrea." I felt my stomach twist and turn again as he looked at me with those beautiful dark brown eyes.

Why was I acting like this? It's weird and I hate it. I looked away from him and nodded my head as he drove off. I looked down at my fingers picking my nails and bit my lip slightly.

"I think there will be liquor there and other illegal drinks." I smiled a little at him. "You better not drink that much Nathan. I need to get home and I can't even drive!" Nathan side eyed me dramatically like i was the one to talk.

Is he trying to call me a drunk because of my father? I punched his arm and he looked at me confused but put his eyes back on the road "i know what you were about to say Nathan Nicholas." He chuckled to himself but I was serious.

"All i was going to say Rea is that when you try new stuff, you get addicted. I'm even scared that you will find white powder and accidentally inhale it then next thing you know you would be tripping balls saying you want more." I laughed at him and punched his arm again but more lightly.

When we arrived at Chloe's house, there was loud music playing from inside. Nathan parked his car then we both got out. I saw some girls looking at Nathan and giggling but Nathan didn't seem to notice. He was too busy trying to see how many people were there and how many people were drunk, leaving, high, and even sober.

I knew he was mostly looking for Chloe though since she invited him and since she threw the party.

"Rea, hold onto me so i dont lose you in this crowd." He put my hands around his arm and I just nodded as we went inside the house pushing past people. It was loud and so many people were dancing and drinking.

Welcome to hell.

I saw Chloe talking with her friends and laughing a little but I knew Nathan noticed her before me because he suddenly left me in the kitchen to say hey to her and to thank her.

Fuck him for that.

I stood in the kitchen awkwardly as the music played and sighed. Why did I even agree to come to this stupid party? Nathan literally left me stranded in the middle of god knows where with drunk dumb seniors and i'm just alone looking like a lost puppy.

I rolled my eyes out of annoyance and tried to look for Nathan. As I started looking for him, I realized that Chloe was also nowhere to be seen. I decided to go outside and check the backyard since it was the only place I haven't checked yet.

I saw in the corner Nathan and smiled happily while also being relieved but something seemed off. I looked closer to see Nathan kissing Chloe.

I don't know why, but it felt like someone took a blade and stabbed it right through my heart, stomach, and legs. I was watching my best friend, my Nathan, kissing another girl on the lips.

I quickly went back inside the party and felt tears form from my eyes but luckily they didn't drop. I breathed in and out before going back to the kitchen. I saw some shots on the table and decided to take some of them.

One by one, I kept swallowing and swallowing, feeling the burning feeling down the back of my throat. Before I realized, the music felt quieter and it felt like I was floating.

I soon fell down right on my butt in a dance crowd and just began to cry for absolutely no reason. I felt dizzy and heavy, almost like someone was drugging me while holding me down.

"Rea? Rea!!" I heard someone call my name and I looked up weakly but also more dizzy than before. "Rea, let's get you out of here, you've had enough of the party, party girl."

I saw the figure try to pick me up but I just yelled at him to get off of me and tried walking away until he grabbed my arm back. I felt the figure pick me up bridal style but as soon as he did I blacked out.

Everything just felt like a weird dream that I couldn't escape out of.