"i don't want to listen to you nagging anymore! can you just shut the fuck up?!" lee felix at 4 am, half of his body hanging out a window.
or as two boys who are trying to win a $30 bet.
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"my patience controlling, the question i won't speak. we're telling the stories, our laughter, he knows me. we're leaving, we're talking. you're closer, it's calming."
mr. kitty
— ✨ —
changbin lit the joint he held in his hand, looking up at the sky as he let the smoke out.
the stars were out, reflecting against anything they could. he was sat on the curb in-front of his own home, the quietness engulfing him.
he hadn't seen felix in a while, well, more like three days. he felt anxious, to speak with him, about anything really. what if he were to say the wrong thing? and he ruined their friendship. then he wouldn't be able to figure anything out.
"have you been sleeping?" he felt a thigh hitting his own, his heartbeat raising.
he took in another puff, before nodded, yes. a lie. "really?"
shit
"i've been trying to."
well, if he was scared of saying the wrong thing, maybe he shouldn't have started off their first conversation with a lie.
he heard felix hum, reaching a hand out. "can i try?" changbin handed him the joint, watching as the boy took a puff, letting out small coughs.
he chuckled, "have you ever smoked before?"
felix smiled sheepishly, shaking his head. "what makes you want to try it today?"
"i've been thinking."
"about?" he tilted his head, holding the eye contact. felix shrugged, "overthinking?" he nodded. "me too."
they shared the joint, silence engulfing them as they stared up. "what have you been thinking about?" he asked felix.
"well," he passed the joint. "summer's halfway over. we start school in a little over a month."
"yeah," the crickets chirped.
"and then we're going to figure out what we want to do with the rest of our life's. the 50 years we have ahead of us are being decided by our teenage selfs. what if we choose to study or do the wrong thing?"
changbin hummed, "what if we don't? we just have to follow our hearts, do something we find enjoyable. and if it turns out that in 20 years you don't like it, so what? you can just go back to school, and continue studying. or you could drop everything and move to the other side of the world, and never return to studying."
"plus, weren't we going to open our own cafe in a flower field?"
felix smiled, looking back at changbin, "yeah." and he looked away.
silence filled the air again, "what were you thinking about?"
a hum.
silence.
he turned back to look at the boy again, staring at him as he stared at the sky. about how i get the urge to hold your hand, but my stomach does flips not knowing about how you would react.
"i've been thinking about how if you and jisung were to get kidnapped you would be trying to get to know them even if we had already paid the ransom."
"really? that's what you've been thinking about?" felix laughed.
"yeah?" bullshit.
"bullshit," well, shit. "we would probably be helping them find their soulmate." phew. "i can't believe i was here having a 'my future' crisis while you were thinking of my friendship with my potential kidnapper."
changbin laughed, "they're both solid things to be thinking about." but the look on felix's eyes said that, well, he knew there was something deeper to be talked about.
felix leaned onto changbin giving him the last bit of the joint. changbins heart calmed down, taking the night in. "so when are you taking me to the flower field?"
"hm," they noticed a shooting star, stopping all conversation to watch it. "sometime in august, most flowers have bloomed by then and i'll have something to do for my birthday."
— ✨ —
[july 10, 2023]
the development of this story feels so slow yet so fast...
