ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

• 32 •

for the love of god play nice

Dazai: SLIT YOUR WRISTS AND SPELL MY NAME

Fyodor: XOXO KISSES HUGS

Dazai: you literally forgot half of the lyrics you fat slut

Tachihara: oh-

Nikolai: DIE WITH ME ENJOY THE FAME

Dazai: ROLL THE DICE AND PLAY THE GAME

Tecchou: R-ROLL THE DICE AND PLAY THE GAME

Dazai: this is why you're better than flopdor and loseruno

Tecchou: so real bestie

Dazai: we should make a band

Jouno: i couldn't think of anything worse

Dazai: i'm not talking to you yuuji itadori

Jouno: who?

Dazai: im talking to my bae nikolai and my second bae tecchou and we are going to make a band

Tecchou: hell yeah besties

Dazai: i am literally gojo

Chuuya: someone stop his delusions he's literally going insane

Dazai: xoxo you can be my drummer bf and we can fall in love and get caught in a scandal that will tear us apart but eventually we will be end game and screaming your name through the radio

Poe: isn't that a fanfic?

Dazai: i dunno bro maybe

Sigma: Don't tell me you've never read a fanfiction. Even I have.

Dazai: i've read loads of fanfics! especially mha fanfics

Nikolai: oh lord

Kunikida: Even Nikolai knows that mha fanfictions are dog shit

Yosano: i've read a few bts fanfics

Kouyou: You look like a bts fanfics kinda gal

Yosano: what the fuck is that supposed to mean

Ranpo: i'm pretty sure poe has written spicy fanfics of us two... i've read them

Kyouka: Is he the author of the 5 doughnut smut?

Poe: the WHAT

Poe: absolutely NOT

Ranpo: WHY HAVE YOU READ THAT YOURE LIKE 14

Kyouka: ao3 is better

Dazai: have you read... anymore?

Kyouka: Kenji and I have read soukoku fics together

Kenji: It's how we bond!!

Fukuzawa: Am I going to have to block the internet in the office?

Ranpo: NO DON'T DO IT

Kunikida: Please do because maybe I can stop Dazai from searching "how to find a bomb" on my computer to put me on the FBI watchlist

Dazai: has it worked yet?

Kunikida: Does it look like it worked yet?

Dazai: i dunno man i didn't know you had a tattoo on your ass but apparently you do

Kunikida: LET IT GO

Dazai: NEVER

Atsushi: dazai is extra talkative today, what happened?

Chuuya: i told him to leave me alone and he said he will spam the groupchat if i kick him out

Chuuya: i kicked him out

Dazai: and now you will never hear the end of me

Kunikida: What about the time you sobbed because Chuuya left you on read for three days and you cried so hard you choked on your own spit and had to be taken to hospital for liquid in your lungs?

Tachihara: KUNIKIDA ON SMOKE

Yosano: i remember crying

Dazai: aww

Yosano: of laughter

Dazai: oh

Ranpo: that was the funniest part of that day, even after yosano sent her nudes to akutagawa because she thought it was kouyou

Kouyou: WHAT

Akutagawa: I am beyond traumatised

Yosano: RANPO SHUT UP

Kenji: Remember the time that Ranpo smacked Fukuzawa in the face for stealing his lollipop and got banished to the naughty step outside the office for two hours? :D

Teruko: nah what the fuck is wrong with you all

Jouno: don't act like you didn't cry like a baby because fukuchi took away your ipad

Nikolai: LMAO IPAD KID

Teruko: i'll KILL you

Nikolai: oop not without your cocomelon

Sigma: Honestly I'd share a funny experience with Nikolai and Fyodor but they're all harrowing memories that I would choose to replace if given a chance

Tachihara: that's so real bae

Gin: Remember when Higuchi saw BTS at a concert and pissed herself

Chuuya: surprised you didn't drink it

Gin: Shut up hat rack

Higuchi: LOOK I SAW MIN YOONGI AND I LOST CONTROL

Tachihara: LMAOOO

Akutagawa: Remember when Tachihara tried to flirt with Gin because he found out she had boobs and he instead decided to squeeze them and say "mommy milkies"

Poe: these are getting more and more unhinged

Tachihara: remember the time chuuya drunk all the wine at a business dinner and did gangnam style in front of a pair of crying kids who wanted to go home

Mori: Remember the time my little Elise wanted me to make a groupchat for the port mafia? I regret that now

Kajii: shut up pedo remember when you shat yourself because dazai laced your food with laxatives

Dazai: LMAOO I REMEMBER THAT

Chuuya: that was hilarious i'll admit

Mori: :(

Nikolai: i think we should name our band "triple psychos"

Tecchou: no it should be "pickled egg"

Dazai: you're both wrong it should be "three homosexual men walk into a bar"

Jouno: and then what?

Dazai: nothing. the joke is never continued

Elise: I hate gay people

Atsushi: WE KNOW

Yosano: WE KNOW

Ranpo: WE KNOW