ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

• 30 •

for the love of god play nice

Chuuya: jesus christ my head

Dazai: so much blackmail material

Chuuya: fuck you

Nikolai: deadass? bowser kinda hot

Tachihara: nuh uh. luigi

Kajii: D K

Kajii: DONKEY KONG

Tecchou: donkey kong kinda...

Higuchi: That's a whole ass fucking monkey

Jouno: ape actually

Atsushi: aPe aCtuAlLy

Atsushi: stfu it's still a fucking primate

Jouno: i love when you talk dirty to me /j

Fyodor: ew don't ever say that again

Jouno: stfu rat boy

Fyodor: where did this even come from.

Dazai: we ALL know the russians are always RUSSIAN around like rats

Dazai: get it

Dazai: guys

Dazai: get it guys

Dazai: it's funny

Chuuya: get a sense of humour dumbass

Dazai: </3

Ranpo: enemies to lovers arc

Akutagawa: All couples here came from enemies to lovers

Nikolai: it's like someone is writing about us and documenting what we're doing and we're forever trapped by what they want forever and we will be forced to stay together through the desire of the omnipresent and omnipotent writer to decides who we are with at all times

Gin: I-

Haruno: What.

Nikolai: OH I GET THE RUSSIAN JOKE

Dazai: ITS FUNNY RIGHT

Nikolai: NOT AT ALL

Dazai: YOURE ALL HATERS

Chuuya: I'm too hungover from this shit

Tanizaki: you WERE clinging to dazai and got upset when he told you he wasn't single and was happily married

Chuuya: .

Tanizaki: like bawling your eyes out

Chuuya: SHUT UP

Atsushi: you also danced to the cotton eye joe on the bar countertop and fell over

Dazai: it's so funny because he has a HUGE blue bruise on his shoulder

Chuuya: I HATE YOU ALL

Chuuya: ESPECIALLY YOU DAZAI

Dazai: WHAT DID I DO

Chuuya: EXIST

Nikolai: it stinks of up dog in here

Kunikida: What the hell is up dog?

Nikolai: nothing much what's up with you?

Sigma: Foul play

Ranpo: he's currently rocking back and forth in the corner of our office space

Nikolai: LOSER

Kenji: Don't be mean to my father figure!

Nikolai: go cry

Kyouka: I will kill you in your sleep.

Nikolai: not if i kill myself first

Fukuzawa: Damn.

Dazai: ITS FINE WHEN HE DOES IT????

Fyodor: you're suicidal in a depressed, out of body experience way. he's suicidal in a psychopathic way. and that's hot.

Dazai: jesus christ you didn't have to say THAT

Yosano: RANPO

Ranpo: what

Yosano: TELL YOUR FIANCÉ TO STOP SENDING "TASTEFUL NUDES" TO MY EMAIL

Poe: that's... that's not ranpo's email?

Yosano: NO IT IS NOT

Ranpo: oh. i forgot to actually correct that.

Poe: ranpo. that's not your email?

Ranpo: I GAVE IT TO YOU WHEN I FIRST MET YOU BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK WE WOULD MEET AGAIN

Ranpo: I FORGOT TO CHANGE IT

Kouyou: So... you send nudes via email?

Poe: in my defence they aren't nudes

Yosano: they're not TASTEFUL either

Poe: but they're doughnuts?? so technically they are tasteful

Atsushi: why are you calling them TASTEFUL NUDES

Poe: because he wasn't answering my emails so i thought i'd send something provocative in the title so he'd reply to me. evidently it was going to yosano's spam

Ranpo: DOUGHNUTS??

Poe: i saw them and thought you'd enjoy them

Ranpo: i LOVE doughnuts

Poe: good because i bought that doughnut company so you can have all the doughnuts you want :)

Ranpo: OMG??? I LOVE YOU

Hirotsu: Ahh. Young love.

Elise: They're nearly 30...

Naomi: It's young for him

Dazai: i'm not standing for hirotsu slander

Kouyou: In Hirotsu we stand!!!