ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

• 17 •

for the love of god play nice

Nikolai: BERNADETTE YOU ARE MY LIBERTY

Fyodor: I CELEBRATE THE DAY YOU CHANGED MY HISTORY

Tachihara: you know who has touch of the tism? ranpo

Ranpo: WHAT

Tanizaki: that is a fair point

Ranpo: I DON'T HAVE AUTISM

Fukuzawa: He does. I got him tested at the age of 15 and he has, without a doubt, got autism.

Ranpo: DAD

Ranpo deleted a message

Ranpo: i mean uh

Ranpo: SIR

Kenji: We can delete messages??? :o Let me try!

Kenji: I want Kunikida to be my dad

Kenji deleted a message

Kunikida: WHAT

Dazai: why not me kenji :((

Chuuya: take akutagawa as a prime example of why you shouldn't be a dad

Akutagawa: Hey!

Sigma: I missed it, what did they say?

Tachihara: ranpo called fukuzawa dad and kenji wants kunikida to be his father

Sigma: WHAT

Yosano: Ranpo has daddy issues

Ranpo: SO DOES KENJI

Kenji: I regret nothing!

Elise: That means you would have THREE dads. Me having two is bad enough

Tachihara: nah i can't be a dad. i'm too young for this. I'M ONLY 19

Sigma: I'M TECHNICALLY THREE

Dazai: careful. mori will come after you

Nikolai: PAHAHA THATS SO FUNNY BECAUSE MORI IS A PEDOPHILE

Mori: Excuse me?

Elise: True dat

Mori: Elise :((

Kunikida: Whilst I cannot be your father Kenji, I will take the role of father figure if you so wish.

Kenji: :D

Higuchi: Now let's talk about Ranpo's daddy issues

Ranpo: let's not

Fukuzawa: Do you see me as a father figure Ranpo?

Ranpo: if anything i see you as a BOTHER figure

Fyodor: that's no way to speak to your father ranpo

Ranpo: you be quiet. ratatouille looking ass. you do nothing but lie and manipulate

Fyodor: true dat

Ranpo: LOOK MY FATHER WAS NEVER PRESENT AND FUKUZAWA IS A GREAT FATHER FIGURE OKAY?? LETS FORGET IT

Fukuzawa: I'm honoured Ranpo

Gin: But Poe is your daddy ;)

Poe: please don't drag me into this

Ranpo: and YES I HAVE AUTISM but that's on you guys for not noticing sooner

Atsushi: it's not like it's a shock, but we won't treat you any differently! you're not any less incompetent than before we knew about your diagnosis!

Ranpo: that truly brings a tear to my eye... kidding. but thanks i appreciate it

Poe: would you like me to bring your favourite sensory toys into the office today now that you can have them on show?

Ranpo: bring the lavender pouch and squishmallow

Atsushi: A SQUISHMALLOW??? I NEED ONE

Ranpo: take one of mine, squish it when you're stressed

Poe: i'll buy you one atsushi!

Atsushi: oh no you don't have to do that! i don't want you to waste your money on me poe!

Poe: i insist, anything for dear ranpo's friends

Akutagawa: I'll buy him one. No need.

Kouyou: Oooh someone's getting jealous

Akutagawa: Shut up. I'm not jealous.

Tachihara: dude you're using punctuation... like a LOT

Akutagawa: I'm just using correct grammar.

Dazai: lmao okay grammarly

Chuuya: I HATE THAT FUCKING AD IT FEELS ME WITH SO MUCH RAGE I WANT TO SMASH MY COMPUTER INTO TEENY TINY BITS AND FEED IT TO THE PIGEONS

Kenji: poor pigeons :(

Atsushi: nah who hurt you

Chuuya: GRAMMARLY

Nikolai: millions trust grammarly's free writing app to make their online writing clear and effective. getting started is simple — download grammarly's extension ...

Chuuya: GRRRAHHH DIE GRAMMARLY

Dazai: jesus christ

Tanizaki: even your own husband is terrified

Jouno: we literally go on ONE HUNTING DOG MISSION AND THIS HAPPENS???

Tecchou: since when was ranpo autistic with daddy issues?

Teruko: why does chuuya have beef with grammarly?

Chuuya: SINCE IT FUCKING INTERRUPTED MY ASMR

Chuuya: I WAS COMFY AND FALLING ASLEEP WITH MY HEADPHONES ON MAX VOLUME AND SUDDENLY I HEAR THIS IRRITATING GRATING VOICE

Fyodor: it's abby lee miller

Sigma: I'm sorry what?

Fyodor: sigh. the girls deserved better

Fukuchi: I love Dance Moms! I watch it every night!

Nikolai: what a freak.