ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

• 27 •

for the love of god play nice

Nikolai: i'm not a gossip i have acid reflux

Fyodor: go back to sleep baby

Nikolai: nO

Sigma: That was the cutest thing you guys said

Atsushi: how do i even decipher that

Sigma: Fyodor puts sleep medication in Nikolai's tea so Nikolai sleeps through the night and doesn't wake up screaming from nightmares

Akutagawa: That's strangely sweet of him.

Sigma: Nikolai fights his sleep meds a lot so he ends up spamming our DOA groupchat at 3 in the morning

Kajii: it's like babysitting but for an adult male who dresses up as a clown

Nikolai: yOURE A CLOWN

Kajii: NO YOU

Nikolai: GASP

Kyouka: Tachihara

Tachihara: yes kyouka?

Kyouka: Why did you sleep with Chuuya

Tachihara: WHAT

Chuuya: WE WERE DRUNK

Tachihara: WE DON'T NEED TO INTO SPECIFICS

Kyouka: I just want to watch your downfall

Dazai: YEAH HOW DID IT HAPPEN GUYS

Tachihara: but it's really embarrassing

Kunikida: You said it was the craziest sex you had. Why is that?

Chuuya: i mean it wasn't the craziest i had but it was pretty wild

Tachihara: NO REASON

Gin: It's a pretty fucking funny reason

Higuchi: Some would say the sirens were blaring

Tachihara: GUYS I TRUSTED YOU

Sigma: My interest in piqued

Chuuya: well we got drunk on a camping trip with the others and we ended up having sex in a bush

Kajii: I REMEMBER THIS LMAOOO

Tachihara: MY DIGNITY

Yosano: that's pretty tame imo

Kouyou: It gets worse

Chuuya: after we'd done it, tachihara's... genitalia starts itching and swelling

Kenji: Genitalia :o

Chuuya: HIS DICK

Kenji: o.o

Chuuya: so we rang the non-emergency service and it turns out we had sex in poison oak and now his dick was fucking massive.

Gin: Bigger than it already is?

Gin deleted a message

Gin: Small cock

Tachihara: i saw that gin. thank you

Gin: Shit ip

Tachihara: shit ip

Chuuya: it was now too painful to walk so we had to call an ambulance and the paramedics came and fucking wet themselves over this

Tachihara: don't skip over the fact that your ass looked like the japanese flag

Chuuya: this is about you not me

Dazai: LMAO DID CHUUYA BOTTOM

Chuuya: irrelevant. you probably bottomed with kunikida

Dazai: shut up

Higuchi: The whole time we were wondering what happened because we were all flat out drunk and the paramedic was hot

Tachihara: she touched my ween with some cream and it made it feel better

Fyodor: ween

Nikolai: WEINER

Kajii: currently pissing myself. i don't even remember half of the event but i remember seeing tachihara's swollen peen

Nikolai: PEEN

Hirotsu: It was quite the event

Mori: I wasn't there fortunately

Dazai: too busy preying on little girls

Ranpo: LMAOOO

Poe: is your... area better now?

Tachihara: this was last year so i hope so

Chuuya: that's why it was the craziest sex he had

Jouno: actually crying

Tecchou: YOU NEVER TOLD US THIS TACHIHARA

Tachihara: WHY WOULD I WILLINGLY TALK ABOUT THIS

Teruko: you did bring up crazy sex

Tachihara: I THOUGHT SOMEONE ELSE WOULD TALK AND THEYLL FORGET ABOUT ME AND CHUUYA

Chuuya: DUMBASS

Dazai: I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT MYSELF

Yosano: literally traumatising

Ranpo: the funniest story i've heard. and i thought the port mafia were scary

Akutagawa: We ARE scary

Ranpo: nah, you're a twink in love with a furry, tachihara is a whore, chuuya is just as suicidal as dazai, gin is a lesbian with a comphet crush on tachihara, higuchi has nosebleeds by seeing girls in dresses

Ranpo: kouyou is hornee, kajii is probably the only sane one alongside hirotsu, mori is a pedophile and elise hates gay people

Elise: I hate gay people

Nikolai: maybe they hate YOU

Elise: I hope so