ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

• 18 •

for the love of god play nice

Nikolai: TELL ME WHY AINT NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK

Nikolai: TELL ME WHY

Fyodor: AIN'T NOTHING BUT A MISTAKE

Dazai: CHUUYA WHAT THE FUCK

Fyodor: fine ruin our singing why don't you. stupid gay people

Ranpo: your singing is atrocious

Chuuya: WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BANDAGED FREAK

Dazai: WHY ARE THERE TWO DOGS IN THE LIVING ROOM

Tachihara: it's about to become a dying room soon

Chuuya: I FOUND THEM ON THE STREETS

Dazai: THIS ISN'T A BOY AND HIS DOG FANTASY

Dazai: WHERE ARE YOU????

Chuuya: I'M AT PETSMART

Dazai: WE AREN'T KEEPING THEM????

Chuuya: YES WE ARE. THEY AREN'T MICROCHIPPED AND I MAYBE HAVE ALREADY ADOPTED THEM

Atsushi: that is so cute chuuya!! what breeds of dog are they?

Akutagawa: Don't encourage this madness.

Chuuya: ONE IS A GERMAN SHEPHERD AND THE OTHER IS A SMALL DOODLE MIX

Chuuya: I FOUND THEM TOGETHER BEHIND A DUMPSTER IN AN ALLEY WAY, THE GERMAN SHEPHERD IS A PUPPY AND THE DOODLE MIX WAS NURSING IT

Dazai: losing my mind. DO YOU KNOW HOW INTELLIGENT THOSE BREEDS ARE? DID YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES

Chuuya: NO I DID NOT

Sigma: Is this... a fight?

Kunikida: Well Dazai doesn't like dogs. So yes, it's a fight

Dazai: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CONSULT ME WE ARE LITERALLY MARRIED

Chuuya: I'M PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN.

Dazai: NO I AM

Chuuya: SQUARE UP AND WE'LL SETTLE THIS

Gin: I want to see this fight. Bets on Chuuya winning

Ranpo: we all know it's going to end up with them making out and keeping the dogs.

Dazai: WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. WHAT IF THEY BOTH GET SICK

Poe: i will gladly pay for all vet bills. i love all animals and karl. i can also train them for no extra cost if you would like?

Ranpo: my boyfriend is RICH rich

Yosano: you have a source of income for the dogs now, chuuya is at home most days and you're at home at nights AND poe is willing to train them

Dazai: GUYS STOP WE AREN'T KEEPING THEM

Chuuya: it will make me very happy

Kunikida: I personally believe both of you need some emotional support!

Kyouka: I hate dogs.

Kenji: I love them!!

Elise: I would love to pet them

Dazai: yknow what.

Dazai: FINE GANG UP ON ME. ON ONE CONDITION

Chuuya: ANYTHING FOR THE LOVES OF MY LIFE. MY CHILDREN. I AM THEIR MOTHER AND I WILL SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR THEM

Dazai: there's a cat that i feed, a stray. i want her.

Chuuya: CAT???!!!! PISS OFF

Dazai: FINE THEN I'LL GET RID OF THE DOGS

Chuuya: WAIT NO

Dazai: ME OR THE DOGS CHUUYA

Jouno: i don't think you want him to answer that dazai

Chuuya: .

Chuuya: FINE LETS ADOPT THE DAMN CAT

Dazai: YAY

Hirotsu: This got my blood pressure up. I feel faint.

Higuchi: Old fart. Maybe you should stop eating those sloppy burgers on your break every day

Hirotsu: :(

Kenji: What are you going to name them???!

Atsushi: AH NAME THEM SOMETHING POETIC

Akutagawa: Name them something terrifying.

Kouyou: Name them something elegant!

Nikolai: NAME THEM AFTER GENSHIN CHARACTERS

Teruko: imagine walking down the street and seeing dazai run after a dog called scaramouche

Tecchou: nah scaramouche would be the cat

Private Message: Dazai > Chuuya

Dazai: you thinking what i'm thinking?

Chuuya: of course.

for the love of god play nice

Chuuya: we've already decided.

Dazai: DRUM ROLL PLEASE

Tanizaki: brrrrrrrrrr

Nikolai: OOOOHWOAHHHH

Chuuya: winston for the shepherd puppy

Atsushi: CUTE

Chuuya: kiriko for the doodle mix

Ranpo: this is sounding an awful lot like...

Dazai: and reinhardt for the cat

Tachihara: OVERWATCH CHARACTERS??? SERIOUSLY

Haruno: Isn't the cat a girl?

Dazai: wowww that's a bit sexist. i thought you were a feminist

Haruno: I AM

Chuuya: we were originally going to call our kids after overwatch characters but that's never happening

Fyodor: YOU GUYS ARE THE BIGGEST NON-VIRGIN VIRGINS

Elise: Touch grass

Fukuzawa: I am not one to do this but.

Fukuzawa: PLEASE bring Reinhardt to the office sometime. I simply adore cats.

Dazai: of course sir!

Kyouka: What colour is the cat?

Dazai: calico

Kouyou: Aw so she's a mix of brown and ginger? Adorable

Atsushi: i can't wait to meet the dogs too!

Tanizaki: the family is growing