Creek <3

Fragments of life

note:

still not happier!

tweek angst 🤭

CRAIG IS NOT DEAD FYI
DON'T HATE CRIME ME

tw

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Tweek's POV

The nurses and doctors tried to get me to leave several times. Eventually, one of them called security, and despite my teary begs and pleas, I was escorted out of the building and forbidden to come back until visiting hours.

Tolkien and Clyde had already gone home. I didn't have a home anymore. Craig was my home.

I sauntered back to his house, hoping that the door was open or that the spare key was still around. Luckily, the door was open. I stood in the doorway, eyeing the mess caused by the chaos.

I've always been a stickler for clean and tidy. It helps me relieve stress in a healthy, productive way. So I began to clean. I started room by room, beginning with the front room. I gathered all the blankets and bedding and pillow cases and duvet covers and shoved them in the washing machine, turning it onto a bed and bath cycle.

I seized a black bag and binned all the rubbish, all the half eaten pasta pots, the stone cold noodles, the sweet wrappers, everything. I tied the bag and grabbed another, ready for the next load of rubbish. I filled a bucket with warm soapy water and left it to the side, fetching other cleaning supplies and gloves.

I cleaned and polished every countertop, shelf, door handle, window sill, mantelpiece and table. I mopped the floor and hovered the crumbs from the sofas. I replaced the comforter with a clean one, I set the coffee table with a plant and coasters. And once I was satisfied I moved onto the kitchen.

I cleaned and cleaned. Every room, every nook, every cranny, every speck in that house. I worked, non-stop for hours. When I finally finished, my back was stiff and my neck ached. I checked the time.

4:37am

I had been cleaning for over 7 hours. And I was still stressed. I sat in Craig's room, rearranging the clothes and organising his drawers. I grabbed some of his clothes, mine had all been binned and I had yet to buy new ones. I got dressed and packed a bag, determined to do something today. I grabbed the black bags full of litter on my way out and loaded them into the skip just down the street. Then I went on a walk.

I had located the spare key, so I pulled the door firmly shut, locking it and then double checking. My phone was dead, abandoned on a countertop somewhere. In the past, I would've had school, but I had dropped out at the end of last term due to everything going on at home.

I stalked the streets forever. The street lights slowly flickered off and the sun crept higher in the sky. I found myself being led to the spot where Craig had officially asked me out. It had been many months since then, but the blanket and candles were still there, forgotten. I crossed the snow dusted grass and sat on the blanket. I drew patterns in the frost until the sun was high in the sky. Then, I grabbed my backpack and headed to the hospital.

I was greeted and escorted to Craig's room immediately. The nurse explained that, while he was stable, they weren't entirely sure if he would make it.

"He took over 35 pills of assorted medication. The cuts needed stitches."

He proceeded to explain that Craig was essentially passed out, with little to no signs of life. I dismissed the nurse, who left instantly, apologizing and closing the door behind him.

I do not know how long I sat there, staring at my lover, rubbing the back of his hand, anxiously listening to the sound of the heart monitor. I remember talking to him at some point, apologizing profusely until I was sure I had beaten a record for most apologies ever spoken.

I searched his face for something, anything, to show he was alive. Any fragments of life, any pin pricks of consciousness.

But there was nothing. Just the steady beep of the monitor.

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note:

Hey, just fyi Craig isn't dead yet. I have a really cool idea for him to survive, but I also want to write some heart breaking angst of him dying. Life is so hard 😪

On a more serious topic, if you or someone you know is struggling or finding it difficult to cope please do not hesitate to ask for help.

These are some helplines:

Suicide prevention line: 116 123

Emergency help: 999/911/000

Domestic abuse: 08082000247

Eating disorder: 0203 918 6340

Childline: 0800 1111

NHS: www.nhs.uk

Kooth: kooth.com

Childline: childline.org.uk

Beat EDs: beateatingdisorders.org.uk

And if you need someone to talk to but you don't want any professionals getting in your business then you can always reach out to me.

discord: unlucky_paz (Previously: Topaz<3#7770)

make sure to stay safe and stay strong. You're doing great my love, and you're loved and I am so proud of you. You are enough and you are loved and you are amazing.

Take care of yourselves <33