Chapter 19: Im okay

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*GREY'S POV*

I have finally managed to get Lola to sleep. I feel so fucking horrible.

She can't catch a break.

I walk downstairs and pull out my phone making calls. I cancel everything i have on for the next two weeks.

Lola needs me.

"Grey, you have a flight booked to Australia next week, remember?" Mitch says into the phone as he helps me cancel everything.

"I don't care."

"Your meeting with one of the biggest authors."

"I don't fucking care, Mitch. Cancel, or send someone else to go."

"Alright."
"How's Viola?"

"She's okay."

"Send her cuddles from all of us."

"I will."

"Extra from Henry, you know he loves hugs."

"I've never hugged him."

"Can you blame him? I tried hugging you once and you punched me in the face."

"You sort of deserved it."

"How!?"

"You tried hugging me."

He lets out a groan making me chuckle.

We finish up business before hanging up.

~~

"Is that a good speech?" Lola asks nervously as she presents me her funeral speech one last time before we leave.

"It's beautiful, Lola."

"You promise?"

"I promise." I walk over softly kisses her. She pulls away and begins tying my tie for me. I slowly drop my hands to her waist.

She's wearing a tight long black dress, the only time i think i'll ever see her wear black. She has a black headband pushing the hair off her face.

Over the past week i've watched her cry, mourn, cry some more, binge eat, and slowly somehow fucking build herself back up.

It's like she's back to her bubbly self again, which makes me happy. I just wonder if she's actually okay.

"You doing okay?" I whisper rubbing her waist.

"I'm good." She smiles, her dimples and eye crinkles deepening.

"Your not lying to me?"

"No, seriously. I just want to get past the funeral and have some closure, you know. Im good, i feel good. I always knew she was going to pass one day, it was unexpected and horrible but i know she's thinking of me. And shes with my parents now. I'll miss her forever, but i can't dwell on it because it's out of my control and i can't change anything. It's not who i am to be sad, i don't like the feeling. But honestly, Grey, i'm okay. Thank you for everything."

"Im proud of you, Lola."

Her smile deepens as she pulls me down gently by my tie connecting our lips.

My angel.

Me and Lola walk into the funeral hand in hand. I feel nervous and i don't even know why.

It's a small ceremony just Viola, Her Pop, a couple of their close friends and me.

I just don't feel right here.

Me and Lola take a seat at the front next to eachother.

We coast through the funeral where they show photos and videos talking about memories and paying respects.

Viola doesn't cry which suprises me. But the entire time, i can feel her Pop's glare on me.

"I now invite Viola, the granddaughter to speak."

She takes a deep breath and i give her hand a little squeeze before she stands up and walks behind the podium.

She takes a deep breath before talking.

"My grandmother was always one of my favourite people in my life. When my parents passed away she didn't hesitate to take me in and raise me herself, and i owe my life to her for that. She's always been a lady of many thoughts that she often shared but one of my favourites was one she had about my boyfriend Grey when they first met."

I softly smile as she looks at me. No matter how many times she's told me this speech, i can't stop listening to it.

"A few months ago i didn't have many friends until Grey came into my life. And when i took him home the excitement in the room was very clear. I remember Gran saying to me once he left 'Why does he smell so good?' and i agreed. He does smell amazing. I came home from work the next day to a candle grandma had made. She had tried to make it smell like Grey, for some odd reason, but it turned into a total disaster as wax and random men's cologne filled the room."

Everyone lets out small laughs.

"Grandma has always done her best to put a smile on my face and succeed everytime. She will always be remembered as a happy soul. We love you grandma, rest easy."

Everyone clasps as Lola walks down from the stage and comes back sitting next to me.

"You did amazing." I whisper in her ear wrapping my hand on her thigh.

"I didn't even stutter!" She smiles happily.

I softly kiss the top of her head as she rests her head on my arm grabbing onto it.

Lola avoids her Pop the entire day, i don't know what he said to her but i want to fucking kill him for hurting her. Multiple times.

Every man who even looks at her a way only i can makes me want to beat them to the fucking ground. My heart aches when i'm not around her. It kills me.

I think i love her.

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