𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘵

21

If to be honest the whole situation was insane, Hyunjin and Felix broke up, Minho and Jisung broke up and now Hyunjin and Minho are something?

I know a lot to handle, the taller and older boy knew what they did was wrong but it felt so right. Felix hasn't talked to his older brother since what he walked in on, and for Hyunjin the boy completely cut him off.

The long haired boy tried to say sorry but the freckled boy acted like he didn't hear him, acting like the boy was invisible. Of course it hurt to know you've lost someone you were in love with but things happen and this was just going to be a chapter of the now red haired boys journey.

Laying in bed with the warmth of the older, that he's been crying into for the last few days. The older tried to warm up the obviously sad male, by telling him that the freckled boy would come back and talk to him, the older wasn't even sure if it was going to even happen. "Hyungie I-"

"Shhh, I know, I know but things happen and at least you're with someone that loves you.." The taller looked up with cloudy eyes that were only filled with salty tears. "Y-You... You love me?"

"I-I... well yes, yes I do... That was one of the reasons Jisung and I broke up.... It was cause of you..." That was the new beginning, Those five words could change the future of Hyunjin's life.

Minho opened his mouth to say something but got shutdown by two fingers on his soft lips. "Before you say what I think, I want you to know..." He wipes his sorta dried up tears from his eyes.

"I don't know what/how I feel about you.. and that's not saying I don't like you that's far from the truth.. but is it cause you were with you know or that we had sex or just... shit. I don't know what I'm saying anymore..."

The older smiled, showing off his pearly white bunny smile. He sat up  pulling the younger boy up to hug him. "I understand, I'm not mad or anything I want you to know how you heart feels and like I said it's okay if it's not for me..." The red haired boy snuggled into the nape of the olders neck.

"Thank you..."
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𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠⚠︎︎
This next segment can be found disturbing and includes self harm
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Jisung slept in the guest room of Seungmin's house, I mean he had nowhere else to go he got kicked out of his only safe place. He had the other option to go stay with his aunt, but that was an hour away so he chose his friend.

Living with Seungmin wasn't bad but he like to be organized and clean the opposite of the smaller, so he had to learn or know to put things up, to keep his room clean and more.

He missed Minho but he was never going to say that outside of his head, no could know how the squirrel boy was doing or working. He kept it all inside something he was use to, Whenever his dad got back from work he would yell at the house not being clean or how dinner was never ready, he would especially yell at the fact that Jisung was gay, he was a gay boy that love doing girly things, from wearing dresses and heels to even going into his mom's makeup.

That exact night though, Jisung had pink eyeshadow, a red lip, rosy cheeks, with big eyelashes that didn't fit his eyes on. His mother did it she didn't care about her sons sexuality, she was happy that he felt comfortable showing even if he was still young and this could just be a faze.

But not his father, he started yelling and throwing things a his mother all because of Jisung or that's what he thought. He never understood why his father was so upset all the time, maybe it was from all the drinking he was doing, so every morning he would have he's dad's favorite Hero's soup, he always took his time drinking/eating it, Having a long sigh after.

Jisung use to be a his dad best friend, that was before the drinking. The small boy would run to his dad giving him a big hug, but the smell his dads suit always filled him with worry.

But he only now realized that, that "Hero's soup" was only hangover soup. He didn't find it as special as it once was, after he knew the meaning behind it. He keep deep dark secrets just like his father.

'I'm my father's son, so I know' he thought to himself once snapping back to reality. Realizing he had already cut his inner thigh, not once, not twice, not even three times... Four times.

The blood rushed out leaving a bloody mess on his favorite hoodie. He deserved, he really thought he deserved it, after all he was the reason why him and Hyunjin aren't friends anymore, he was the reason why him and Minho hyung we broken up and the reason why Jinyoung was no longer with him, He was the cause of everything he had to punish himself.

The boy sighed, closing his box cutter and putting it back in his bag. He grabbed his lighter and getting back on his bed, he had heard about burning before, maybe form something he was reading and thought about it before giving in.

This was a new experience, he was use to something digging deep into his skin and releasing his stresses but this was new he knew it was going to hurt worst the the cuts but he felt like he was getting pulled by a magnet, forcing him to flick the lighter till fire came out.

Lifting his non cut leg, feeling the warmth of the fire come close to his thigh, only to squeak when it touched, he felt horrible yet so good. It felt so relieving so calming yet if he continued he would cry his eyes out.

After about a minute or so he stopped, placing the lighter on the small night stand. Letting out a shaky breath, feeling that breath he had been holding in the hold time be let out. He looked at the dark, flaky skin that burned like crazy.

He was actually proud of himself for being so quiet about it the loudest he was a mouse. He got up with a slight limp, walking over to the guest bathroom to clean his wounds, with alcohol that he knew he shouldn't be cleaning it with but he loved the sensation of the burning of the chemical.

Oh how proud he was of himself...

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Okay now I know I said I was going on break but I'm stressed about being stressed and my stress level is usually is at 50% but right now it's way higher so yeah I really thought I couldn't stress myself out anymore but here I am anygays love y'all -🐀