Echo (TFP Ratchet x Mech!Reader)

1: The Fall

A/N warning! really heavy mental health stuff.
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I stared blankly at the visor in my servos, the reflection of my own face staring back. My (f/c) optics were tired, and I was tired. Tired of the endless battles, tired of the constant yelling, tired of living. I wanted it all to end, the war, the unobtainable expectations of my sire Soundwave, the constant looks of disappointment from the one he serves.

'Just one last flight.' I thought, putting the visor on and standing from my berth. I slowly made my way to the flight deck, ignoring the glances of the vehicons as I passed them in the halls. It's not like they cared. No one does. Attachment was seen as a weakness. Emotion was a weakness.

"Y/D! Where are you going?!" Starscream snapped at me. I turned my helm to him, saying nothing just like my sire and continuing to the flight deck. Once I was there, I removed my visor, carving a note into it to my sire.

'Forgive me, sire, I can not continue. I have failed. May Primus have mercy on me as I join the Allspark.' 

I placed the visor on the flight deck, tearing off my Decepticon insignias and removing my comlink. I placed all of these things into the visor, standing at the edge of the flight deck. I then jumped into the air, shifting and taking off.

I don't know how long I flew. It didn't matter. I only knew one thing, wanted one thing. I landed at a rocky cliff by a raging sea, the light of the setting sun dancing on the waves like bobbing shards of yellow glass. The cliff was high, and there were razor-sharp jagged rocks below. Step by step, I approached the edge, closer and closer I got to the end. I stood at the very edge, staring off into the sea.

"One step, and it will be over. I'll finally be free. All I have to do is take that step! Primus, why can't I do it?! Why can't i just fragging do it?!" I cried to myself, unaware that a certain Prime and medic had heard me and were cautiously making their way to investigate. "Just do it, Y/D! Take that step!"

"Don't." I heard a voice. Say from behind me. I turned around and saw the Autobot medic Ratchet and Optimus Prime staring at me with an emotion I could not describe.

"Y/D, listen to me." Ratchet said, something about his voice made my walls crack. "You don't have to do this."

"There's no hope for me. I'm nothing to the Decepticons. I'm nothing to Cybertron. Everything and everyone I cared about is dead! All because of this pointless war!" Tears began to flow from my optics, the crack in my walls that I had put up to hide my distress growing larger and larger. "I want it all to end!"

"We do too, but taking your own life will not bring back those who are lost." Optimus said.

"Why would you care!? Wouldn't this make things easier for you? One less fragging useless price of scrap to worry about?!"

"Y/D, please." Ratchet said softly, slowly approaching me. "You don't want to do this."  It was true, I didn't want to do it, but I had to. I stared blankly at them, leaning back and preparing to fall. Ratchet rushed over and grabbed me, pulling me from the edge with his strong arms. That's when the walls broke. Millenia of bottled up grief poured out, wave after wave of hot tears falling out of my optics like a storm.

The two Autobots sat with me as I wept, Ratchet holding me close to him and Optimus sitting next to him. After hours, I finally calmed down, the sun barely a sliver over the horizon. I was exhausted, my optics hurt, and everything felt numb.

"Y/D, why were you going to end your life?" Ratchet asked softly.

"I was tired of it all. The fighting, the yelling, my... my sire." I shakily said, pushing myself up from Ratchet and hanging my helm as I sat between the two mechs. "I... it was the only way out that I saw. I never wanted to be a Decepticon. I never wanted to fight."

"There is another way out. Y/D, you can come with us." Optimus said.

"But.... why? Why would you take such a risk?"

"You deserve a chance to have peace. We can at least try to provide it." Ratchet said. I paused, deep in thought.

"I-I don't know if that would be a good idea, I know your comrades would rather see me as a pile of scrap. Pile of... Primus, I really was close to just becoming nothing but rust, wasn't I?" I said, the fog of grief lifted from my processor. "I'm... such a coward."

"No, you just weren't thinking clearly. Sometimes, when one gets overwhelmed by emotion or when emotion gets bottled up for centuries, it all just breaks, and we don't think correctly." Ratchet said. "The fact that you even opened up to us is a huge step."

"Well, it's not like the Decepticons are good listeners." I chuckled sadly. "I just... I don't understand why you even bothered to stop me."

"It was the right thing to do." Ratchet said.

"As for your concern about the other Autobots, I will have a word with them that you are to be treated as a neutral."

"You're... not forcing me to side with the Autobots?" I asked.

"No, it would only repeat the cycle. If you wish to join us officially, that will be your choice." Optimus said, standing and holding out a servo. I hesitantly grabbed it and was pulled up. I felt a wave of dizziness and was caught by Ratchet before I fell.

"Easy Y/D, don't stand up too quickly." Ratchet said, gently righting me. I took in a shaky vent, exhaustion hitting me like an Insecticon. "Right now, you need rest." 

I watched as a swirling green portal opened, the two mechs heading for it. I hesitated but then followed.

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A/N everything will be ok