Orla slammed her phone onto the marble countertop of her kitchen before digging her palms into the space directly above her cheekbones and below her eyes.
In all honesty she was exhausted, drained and felt ignored, she hadn't managed to align her schedule with her mothers in days, every phone call with Paul was resolving around Ivy, which she understood, He's Ivy's father, to him Orla's just...
Orla wasn't even sure what they were, everything was so stressful it was no wonder she'd begun being sick all the time. She and Paul were affectionate physically but they weren't going on dates, or even saying they liked eachother.
Orla wasn't sure she'd ever stopped loving Paul, she couldn't even remember why they had broken up. It was a spur of the moment argument over him neglecting to clean the kitchen surfaces which ended in him telling her they were done.
Things had been such a mess, Ivy was hardly the healthiest baby for the first year after her birth, her birth itself was very strenuous, Ivy had gotten stuck though she was too far out of the stomach region to be taken out via a caesarean which meant about a dozen doctors were trying to pry the baby out of Orla while she screamed in pain in between huffing on the gas and air they'd given her.
A month and a half after Ivy was born they had moved to Dublin so that Paul could film Normal People, and then fucking COVID happened.
Orla was desperate for one evening alone where she could drink and wallow in her upset, now she couldn't even smell her favourite wine without her face souring at the smell.
Orla's phone began buzzing which lead her to grabbing it in fear of it falling to the floor and smashing, which was the last thing she needed right now, and she answered the call not even caring to see who it was from.
"Orla what the fuck." .. Of course it was Ryan. "Ry, I-" Orla began "You're such a bitch." He spat "Ryan." Orla said trying to speak though she was cut off again "You go to a fucking magazine and air out all of our issues." Her brother scoffed "It's hardly all of our issues. I could have told them about you trying to beat my boyfriend up when I was pregnant but I didn't. You're such an entitled dick no wonder no one will fucking hire you anymore. That's why you really quit acting, because everyone knows your such a fucking wanker that no one wants to willingly put themselves into that situation." Orla retorted.
"I quit for me. You shouldn't have said what you did, Dad would be so ashamed of you." Her brother spat "Don't you fucking dare." Orla seethed "He never fucking wanted you, you were a mistake, that's all you'll ever fucking be to him and me." Her brother shouted "You finally admit it." Orla smirked, she couldn't lie to herself, hearing him finally admit it both upset her and amused her
"What?" He spluttered "You're pissed off because my mother slept with our father and had me, you resent me for it. It's not my fault your parents were miserable with eachother so they split up. I'm just an easy person to blame for it because you can't come to terms with the fact that they were never the perfect couple you wanted them to be. I get it, your never had a solid perfect family but neither did I, and you can't blame me for it happening to you especially when you were a fucking teenager when I was born." Orla exclaimed
"I was twelve." He said defensively "You were old enough to gather the fact that I didn't cause them to break up. They already were!" Orla replied "I hate you, fucking forget about coming over for Easter." Her brother told her angrily "Good!" Orla exclaimed "Great!" He retorted "Go fuck yourself you raging cunt."
Orla put her phone down and made herself a glass of squash before her phone began ringing, she answered it, expecting Ryan which lead her to greet Paul with "The fuck do you want now Ryan?" Orla asked irritatedly "It's Paul.." Paul greeted after a moment. Orla's anger slipped away and she smiled.
"Oh hi! you alright?" She asked "Yeah... I just wanted to ring you before you went to bed." Paul told her "Let me look at your suit." Orla said excitedly. He set his phone against a cupboard and moved back, standing to a wall and turning so she could see his outfit properly.
"You look brilliant, very dashing." Orla said leading Paul chuckled as he walked back to the phone. "Are you okay?" He asked "I'm good. I finished putting the short together, I've just got to add graphics and end credits now." Orla said "That's great." Paul said genuinely "Enough about me, How excited are you?" Orla asked him.
"I'm nervous." He admitted "Don't be, you're being celebrated for how good you are. I'm very proud of you, and you'll have a fuck-tom of fun there." Orla told him "I will." He nodded "Bring back that gift suitcase they give you. I've always wondered what's in those." Orla nodded "I'll make sure to." He chuckled "Paul were going to be late!" A voice called from off screen "Is that?" Orla began recognising the voice.
"My mother, yeah." He nodded "You should get going, I'll see you later." Orla told him "Bye." He waved. "Bye." She echoed.
GWEN TALKS
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