Hyung (Namkook)

Time flies

"Stop staring. You had your chance."
Jin scolded Joon, who was looking at Hobi and Jungkook talking happily in the cafeteria. Hobi had his arms around him as Taehyung was fake fighting with him. Yoongi sat there half asleep, as always. Even though everyone has accepted the fact that they were now separated, Namjoon still finds it hard to be in the same group as Jung Kook.

"You have been hiding in my home for days. Your parents are ok with that?"
Namjoon sighed "They asked me to come back, but I don't know how to face him... Tae hates me. My mom has been giving me these death glares, and dad is silent, but I know he is disappointed."
"He looks okay, though." Jin said, looking at Jungkook.
"He texted me the other day saying that he is ok, and I don't need to hide from him every day."
Jin nodded. "You can stay as long as you want. My parents won't be back for another 2 weeks. It's lonely at home. I love having company." He kept a hand on his shoulder.
"What about grumpy? Still sour?"
"Yeah, he is still mad at me."
Jin laughed, "He loves that kid. This is where I feel like your brother and him are a good match. Both are so fiercely protective. They will be good parents someday."
Namjoon smiled and looked at them.

——

After a few days of staying with Jin, Namjoon slowly went back home. He kept his distance from everyone and didn't join the family dinners or conversations much. He stayed in his room and often ate alone after everyone was done with their food.
One night he was having his dinner alone at the table after making sure everyone went to bed.
"How are you?" He jolted back, suddenly hearing his dad's voice. He kept a hand on his chest to calm himself.
"Sorry dad, I didn't expect you to be awake. I'm okay, dad."
Haneyol sat on the chair near him and said, "We miss you. You stay here, but we don't see you often."
"It's still a bit awkward." He said poking the food on his plate with his fork.
Haneyol nodded and said, "So have you been thinking about universities?""
Joon nodded. "I'm thinking Seoul; I am aiming for that, but I don't know if I can get in."
"You have the grades and brains for that." He smiled
"Hopefully .." Joon smiled back and continued eating his dinner.

"You know we support you, right?" Haneyol spoke after a while.
Namjoon looked at him, confused.
"I'm talking about Kookie."
Namjoon kept his fork down and sighed, "I messed up. I want to go back and make everything right, but I don't know if I am strong enough to face everything. The thing I had with Emily. People talking behind my back, judging me. I don't think I can deal with it again." His voice cracked.

"Why did you lead him on then? If I am right, Jungkook didn't want to act on his feelings. You gave him the confidence to do it, and then you ditched him like that!"
Namjoon nodded. "I love him, dad. I still do. But I'm not the right thing for him. I don't think I can protect him the way Tae or even Yoongi do. He deserves someone better. And you are right. I shouldn't have made a move in the first place, but I didn't expect me to feel like this too."

Haneyol grabbed his son's hand and caressed it. "I understand your fear, Joonie. But is being scared worth losing him?You said you love him, so that's the question! I know you guys are young. You don't need to decide your future right away. Maybe you have some girl out there that you will love. You have more to explore. But was Kook just an infactuation ? Or is he something you will regret losing in the future? Can you imagine him with someone else? He is family with or without being with you, so yeah!! you will one day meet his new partner; maybe you will attend his wedding; maybe you will see his kids. Will you be able to survive that? You know that feeling of missing out on a chance of happiness is going to eat you alive if you really love him."

Joon's heart broke a little imagining the things his dad said—wedding, kids, everything that kept him awake for the past months—the silly, cheesy dreams of things he imagined having with Jungkook. His eyes watered a little.

Haneyol held on to his hands tightly. "Joon..you are so much like me.Your mom was like your brother, adamant that we are the future. She made it clear that I would be the only one she would marry the moment she met me " A small smile crept on haneyol's face while he talked about his wife
". You know how different our families were, right? She was rich. She had everything in life. I was an average guy. When we realised that you were in her belly, I was scared for my life.Her family was ready to kill me. They caused a lot of trouble for me and my parents . But, she fought for me a lot and trusted in me. She was ready to leave everything behind for me and you. Soeven though i was scared as hell. I realised that I wouldn't let the love of my life get away just because of being scared of people judging us or worried about the future we don't have any idea about. If she says she was happy, then she is happy. Now look at us..our lives. We are blessed with two most beautiful children, and everything is perfect. Whatever I have in our life today, I like to believe that it happened because I took that leap of faith that day. And I know you have it in you to fight for him too. You are our son after all."

Joon sniffled and looked down. "I don't think he will want me back, dad. I did hurt him."
Haneyol laughed, "Don't talk like an old man. You are still extremely young. You have all the time in life to win him back. Do the right thing this time. Get him back, okay!"
Joon nodded, smiling. "Mom is still angry, right?"

"Oh, she is just angry because she was happy thinking that she got to keep Kookie around forever, and those dreams crashed when you broke up. That woman was almost ready to add Yoongi and Kookie's names to our inheritance. She is now sad that he will find someone else and move away from us. She calls herself a mom of four now! " He shook his head and smiled. Joon's lips curled into a small smile.
Haneyol sighed "Ahh..one day after like ..20-30 years  ,if you want to sit down with your son and talk about your great old love story like this then you have to take this chance right!! Talk to him. I know he acts all right, but he is hurting too, and I'm sure he will be more than happy to take you back."
Haneyol got up and pecked Joon's forehead before going back to his room.
Joon groaned and hit his head on the dining table repeatedly.
"What am I going to do?"

——

And i kind of totally miss OT7 these days..never in my life i thought i will be obsessed with a boy band ( who sings in a foreign language) and will cry for them for going into military.But i m glad to have this pain..i m glad i found their music and their goofy personalities that healed me and made me smile in ways even my friends and family couldn't.

Ok enough crying for today..hope you all enjoyed the chapter 😌😌😌