The Caseys: Family Life, Part 1

A Deep Dive into Matt's PTSD - Part One: Pre-Medication

"So, where should we start?" Gabby took a breath. "Matt, I want you to tell me where you're comfortable starting; this is what you need to tell me right now. So, what do you want to talk about?" Matt took a breath when he heard Gabby say that, before looking at his girl. "How about we start with the first thing that we both know is part of my past, the way I was abused as a child." Gabby took a breath when she heard Matt say that, because she knew that this is definitely going to be a hard topic. "Baby, I want you to remember that you can take it slow. I don't need to rush, nor do I want you to rush through this. This is a hard topic, and I want you to take it easy with me." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, smiling as he felt her get close to him; after which, she wrapped her arms around his torso and just cuddled up to him. At the same time, Matt put his hand on her arm while stroking it with his thumb; after which, Matt pressed his lips to Gabby's forehead and just smiled as he truly was very comfortable with his wife right now.

He then looked down at his wife, smiling as he moved his hand to her hip and then bent down to kiss her softly; which later led to him just taking things nice and slow with the woman he loves, and the woman he craves more than anything in the entire world. "Okay, so I think that this part is definitely something that we can get through quite quickly; I just want to do the easy stuff, and fast stuff that's hard." Gabby agreed with her husband when he said that, smiling as she stared up into his eyes. "So, how do we do that?" Matt took a breath as he looked at his girl, well aware that she was a bit unsure as to how they can do that. And the answer was that they can talk about it nice and easy with each other. "So, I think the first one is the fact that I was abused as a child." Gabby agreed with her husband as he said that, well aware that was something that was definitely bothering her husband to this day. "Yeah, I can see that being the case." Matt took a breath and just looked at his wife. "And there's also a fear that comes with it too." Gabby was confused.

"What type of fear?" Matt sighed as he looked down, hating that he even thinks this way. "HEY! I see that look in your eyes, and I really hope that I'm wrong that you're ever thinking that way baby. Please don't tell me that you're thinking about that, because we both know that's not going to happen." Matt took a breath. "Gabby, I mean..." Gabby then proceeded to grab Matt's hand and stroked it with her thumb. "Hey, I don't want you to ever think about that Matt; because that is not the man that I married, and we both know that's the case. Matt, we both know that; you are NOTHING like your father. In fact, you are the complete OPPOSITE of your father. You are kind, loving and caring. You are sweet, intimate, and caring. You care for others, and you put others before yourself; which is exactly what you've been doing for a while, especially when it comes to your PTSD. But listen, I hope to god that you know that you will never be like your father; nor will you ever abuse our sons, because you are not going to abuse Matteo and Noah."

Matt took a breath when he heard Gabby say that, really hoping that was the case. "Matt, I mean that. I really mean that and I swear, I never want you to think about that. I do not want you to ever think that you will ever have the ability to do this to our children. We both love them more than anything in the entire world, and you aren't going to hurt them." Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that, because he knows that's the case; why he thought that wasn't the case, he has no clue. "It's just...I read it all the time, and I'm doing research for something that I've yet to start...and it's been really hard on me." Gabby took a breath. "Let me guess, you're looking into ways that you can help people who are abused?" Matt nodded as Gabby asked him how he can help people who were abused. "I hate to even think this way, but I think it's my way of going back in time; and doing what I should've told my mom to do when she was being abused. I should've told my mom to just leave, to leave my dad and start over somewhere fresh; go to a shelter, and we can start fresh somewhere else." Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, well aware that was the case; but it's not healthy.

"Matt, I am not going to lecture you; because we already know this, and you already know that it's not a good idea to do this. It's not a good idea for you to go back in time and question all the what ifs. Analyzing all the choices that you made at the time, and all of the choices that you could've made; because that really isn't going to be healthy when you're still dealing with it baby. We both know that you're not going to want to talk about that too much, but it's also something that you need to remember. You are not to blame for this." Matt agreed with Gabby when she said that. "I just hate that I'm thinking this way, when I have training to not think this way; I have the training to make sure that I don't over judge the situation. And even worse, think that people are going to be hurt or. I just don't know." Gabby agreed with her husband when he told her that, well aware that was the case. And she just hates that this is what he spends his day thinking about. After all, that was something that she definitely doesn't want him to think about; she wants him to try and move forward as much as he can, not that you can really forget everything that ever happened in the past.

It was something very traumatic for her husband, and she knows that she needs to make sure that he isn't that type of man. "Baby, I'm sorry that you are always worried about that; and I hate that you are thinking about that. But you need to know that isn't the man that I married, you are not violent; and you are not going to hurt the boys whatsoever, because that is not you. Now, how about we get the topic back to what we need to talk about; and that's your PTSD, as I do not even want to talk about this even more. And that's because it will not help, it'll just make things worse for you; as it may give you more ideas as to just what you can..." Putting his hand on his wife's neck, Matt leaned in and then proceeded to kiss her softly; taking things nice and slow with the woman he loves, Matt smirked due to the fact that this is everything that he wants to do right now. He wants to make sure that his wife knows that he will not do that, he is not going to think that way; because he never wants to do anything that will hurt their children. He knows who he is, and he also knows that he isn't a violent man; especially when it comes to the ones he loves more than anything in the entire world.

Matt has always wanted to be a father, and nothing will ever make him want to do anything that can put that life at risk. "Okay, you can relax know and just take it easy baby." Gabby agreed with Matt when he told her that, smiling as she proceeded to grab his hand; she then stroked his hand and looked into his eyes. "So, where were we now?" Matt smiled. "I guess, we were just talking about your abuse experience; but I am worried because I don't want you to digest this too much." Matt agreed with his wife when she said that, well aware that was the case. "So, I think that we can both agree that this topic has been talked about; and that we don't need to worry about anymore?" Gabby agreed with her husband when he said that, smiling as that was something that she definitely agreed about. She then smirked as she put her hand on his cheek, kissing him softly. "So, do you want to take a breather in between this topic...or do you want to just go ahead and talk to me about the next one?" Matt smirked as he proceeded to roll over on top of her.

"Maybe we can do something first?" Gabby smirked as she heard Matt say that, before putting her hand on his face. "And just what might that be?" Putting his hand on Gabby's hip, Matt smirked as he started to take things nice and slow with the woman he loves more than anything in the entire world. God, the way she makes him feel is everything; and there's truly nothing more that he wants to do right now. "I love you." Gabby agreed with Matt when he said that, before smirking as he went ahead and started to take things slow with him. That was, until they were disturbed by the sound of something beeping. "Oh c'mon! What's that?" Matt then took a breath while looking down into his wife's eyes, as he knew that it was his alarm; the alarm on his phone. "It's your phone alarm?" Rolling over, Matt took a breath and then proceeded to look at his phone. "Oh, I need to do this." Gabby was confused when she heard Matt say that. "And what's 'this'?" Matt smiled as he went to get up. "Medication."