quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

stupid idea

//mostly crack tbh//

"How do you keep up with him?" Atsushi's voice resonated through the Agency, he had just finished a call with his mentor that had annoyed him, I just smiled softly.

"I don't even know...well, I know, but yeah" I gave a pretty ambiguous answer as I was organizing some files. The work has been going down, mostly handled by Kunikida, Dazai, Ranpo and Yosano. Right now the only ones out were Dazai, Ranpo and Yosano, we were being 'watched' by Kunikida.

"That... doesn't make sense" Kyoka said.

"Well, I guess we just get each other, and that's it" I responded, getting annoyed at their questions.

"How can you get someone that tries to kill himself every damn minute and it's an immature bastard" Kunikida said. It was weird that he jumped into the conversation but I guess everyone has been wondering how Dazai and I still were going strong, it's been three months and we haven't killed each other.

"Well, I know what it is... wanting to die" I said slowly, fearing the reaction of my coworkers, my stare moved carefully from the files to the people in front of me. Atsushi had a shocked look on his eyes, and Kunikida stopped writing his report.

"Should we be worried?" Tanizaki was the one to break the silence.

"Not really, I don't want to die anymore, but I know what's like to want to, contrary to Dazai's case, I did got help, went to therapy, worked on fixing my issues and here I be, of course my situation ain't as complicated as Osamu's since his um...story started when he was a kid and mine began when I was a teen, but it still took work for me to heal" I said getting back to work, placing the files inside cabinets.

"Why can't he do that too?" Atsushi asked, his tone was low and sad, and he was looking at the floor.

"Because... going to therapy is scary, its difficult and painful, you don't get well just by going, you have to work and make changes, you will get up and fall again, everyone has their own mental health journey, hopefully, one day, Osamu will decide he wants to make that jump, till then we can all be here, just staying by his side" I said walking towards Atsushi and petting his head.

"Everyone in this office needs therapy though, like desperately, make an appointment as soon as possible" the sarcasm in my voice brought laughter to the room as we all kept working.

The door opened harshly revealing the stupid genius detective with a huge grin on his face, and the spark in his eyes that said he was up to no good.

"I have an idea! Come on my sweet honeybear!" He screamed into the office.

"Is it a good or a bad idea?" I asked while doing my work.

"A stupid one" He responded honestly and I heard Atsushi chuckle.

"Okay, I am in" I said, stopping what I was doing and walked towards the lanky detective who was already extending his hand for me to take.

"Hey, where are you two going, you have work to do!" Kunikida yelled at us but we were already running for the stairs.

After running for two or three blocks, we finally stopped to catch our breaths, Dazai had the crazy look on his eye, when he has decided something but he also his childish grin, so it mean whatever we are doing is not going to harm anybody, no world war is going to be proclaimed.

"So... what is your stupid idea?" I finally asked and he stared at me like a mad man, as if he had just discovered immortality, but you had to kill a billion people to obtain it.

"I... want to get a piercing, piercings, plural" he said proudly, putting a hand to his chest and standing tall, I let out a laugh.

"Fine, we should get some tattoos while we are at it" I said sarcastically but Dazai opened his eyes in excitement at the idea. So I pulled his face down by his bolo tie, to inspect his eyes, looking for even the slightest clue of intoxication, but got nothing, just his rebellious teenage angst he probably never had.