quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

friends

Turns out, using swords and knives is more difficult than it seems. This has been my fourth time stabbing myself in the hand, good thing Yosano is always near, even though I need to get stabbed again so she can heal me, I have gotten used to it, pain is just pain and it's bearable when it is only for a second.

I have been going out a lot more, to the movies, to cafés, shopping, everywhere. I often go places with Atsushi since he didn't really have a childhood so I like seeing him get excited over those kinds of things, Dazai often tagged along.

We have been talking often and just hanging out, we go eating together, he takes me for ice cream when he steals Kunikida's wallet, it has been peaceful.

I talked to Cabernet a lot. We texted and every other night we called each other and talked about how our day was. It was interesting having a friend that wasn't from the Agency, it makes me feel normal, like nothing ever happened to me, like I didn't kill two people, like I had a normal job and normal coworkers.

"We should go eat sometime." he said over the line, as I was doing some laundry and reading over a case file that I stole from the Agency, we weren't supposed to take them home, but I figured out that if I get caught, I'll blame Dazai.

"Like for some taquitos?" I asked him. I have taken him to a taco street cart that was near the bar we often go to, he was plastered and then resurrected by the hand of taquitos.

"No, somewhere nice, I'll pay" he said, ending with a little chuckle.

"I'm not sure I fit somewhere nice" I laughed, but I didn't feel like laughing, I really believe my statement, I didn't grow up around money, my family is of the low side of the middle class, and knowing the man I am talking to, he goes to the restaurants where they put gold on your food.

"That's not true, you will do just fine, just let me take you somewhere where we don't have to eat standing up" he whined.

"It's part of the culinary experience, you are so ungrateful" I said sarcastically.

"It's not up for discussion, just get on with it." he said firmly.

"Jeez, okay little lion man whatever you say" I responded.

"I'll pick you up from the usual bar Friday at 8, how's that sound?" He asked.

I ended up agreeing, we talked for a bit but then hung up. What the fuck am I gonna wear?

Today was Thursday and I kept thinking about what I was gonna wear tomorrow, also, will I be getting in his car? What if he drives horribly like Dazai? We have only known each other for like four months, is it really safe? I mean right now there are more knives in my body than rings on my fingers but still I-

"I can hear you think and it's messing my nap" Dazai said whining, he gets grumpy when they don't let him nap.

"I have told you a million times that's not possible, and that it's you snooping on my business" I barked back.

"And I have told you I am special and a genius so I have developed a super hearing power that allows me to hear thoughts" he said standing up on the couch and going to my desk sitting on the edge of it. Atsushi rolled his eyes at the stupid remarks of the one he admires.

"I think you should get medicated, some antipsychotics should help with that" I said sarcastically while reading some papers.

"Ha ha, you are so funny, what if I was suicidal and that was my 13th reason?" He said faking to be hurt.

"You already are suicidal, and you can't commit suicide until we do it together ok? Just hang in there, drink some sake, be a good boy and wait for me to get tired of life" I said with a playful tone, suddenly he hugged me from behind and took my hand, intertwining his pinky with mine.