quicksand (Dazai X Reader)

Switzerland

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"If you send me for something more I will throw myself out of the window, this is it, no more convenience store trips, it's the people you see every damn day at work, why are we preparing things as if the Queen is going to visit us?" Dazai said as he placed beer and wine bottles on the counter of the kitchen and watched as the young woman just kept cleaning every surface of the kitchen.

"Because that's what you do when you have people over, my mother would kill me if I didn't feed and give something to drink to people who visit you" she said, taking the bottles and placing them on the fridge.

"You don't even answer her when she calls, now you are worried about what she would think..." He whispered and the girl turned around with her eyebrows furrowed.

"You need to answer her, or we will have them knocking on the door and I will have to escape by the window so your father doesn't kill me" Dazai said sarcastically as he ate a potato chip.

"I thought you wanted to die, and why are you scared of my dad?" She answered laughingly.

"Of course I am scared of your dad, I am every father's nightmare, honestly wouldn't blame him for trying to kill me, but I would have to give him a ticket, there are approximately 600 people in line" He said in a humorous tone and she snickered. Dazai liked making her laugh with his witty remarks, reminding him he can sometimes bring joy and not only despair.

"I think you are being optimistic, that list is way longer than that" She said and he smiled at her, even though the jokes were way too accurate to be funny.

The doorbell rang and she went to open the door, letting in the whole Agency into her small and sad apartment. The kids took a seat on the floor playing with Karl, Ranpo, Poe and Yosano on the couch, the Tanizaki siblings were beside the couch just standing up, and by the window was Kunikida and the President.

She stared at the picture in front of her as she rested herself on the fridge, everyone was talking and laughing and screaming. Dazai put an arm around her shoulders and both of them just smiled at the group of misfits yelling and pointing fingers arguing about god knows what.

"So, how long has this been going on?" The President was the one to break the comfortable conversations. Dazai and the girl with white strands of hair stood up straight like teenagers caught stealing beer, they looked at each other so see who would answer and she just elbowed Dazai on the ribs and he poked her back.

"Like a month..." She whispered looking at the ceiling. Atsushi passed some money to Tanizaki.

"Did you make out in the supply closet?" Naomi asked, and the couple just nodded. Yosano gave money to the Tanizaki siblings.

"Did you have sex?" Yosano, with a glass of wine in hand, looked like she already knew the answer and Dazai and the young woman just flipped her off, the doctor just laughed loudly and everyone stood up and gave her money, including the President.

"You guys are horrible, you come to my apartment after I almost die just to terrorize me, thats mean" the newest member od the Agency said sarcastically and everyone just laughed.

"Were you the ones that won me the switch? Also the animal crossing game?" Kenji asked, big hazel eyes looking at them by the kitchen, they just smiled and nodded, and Kenji's smile just grew bigger.

"We don't have many rules, even though we should, just don't let this get in the way of your jobs, and keep the pranks down, I can't handle another chicken chase" Fukuzawa said in a soft voice, drinking his scotch.

"Can't promise anything" She answered

"Yep, either I am a menace to Kunikida or society" Dazai answered, shrugging his shoulders. The rest of the people in the room decided that Kunikida would have to endure the situation for world peace.