Hue In My World (Indian BL)

22. Wounds of the past

Something is not right. Nakul's mind wandered back to the events that took place just a few hours ago. He couldn't help but feel that sex was used as a means to shut him off from asking some important questions. And he couldn't be more furious. My horniness was taken advantage of. That is not fair! His mind went back to Dhiraj's angered expressions. Even though at that time he felt guilty, looking back at it retrospectively, Nakul noted that he shouldn't have let go of that topic so easily.

He really doesn't like Avanti huh?. I kind of want to know more about his mother. And with that intention in his mind he went on Google. He typed in "Ragini Raghuvanshi" and immediately the results popped up. In front of him was a picture of an elegant lady in her 30s. He went on the images tab and started scrolling through them. His eyes stopped at a particular picture as he felt as if he had suddenly found a treasure he didn't know existed.

It was because he spotted a picture of the happy couple with a 6 year old little boy sitting on his mother's lap, laughing his heart out. That smile. It held all the innocence in this world. It was the brightest smile he had ever seen. And looking at that little boy, Nakul couldn't help but smile as well. It was the miniature version of Dhiraj. And Nakul instantly knew from him Dhiraj got his charming smile. It was from his mother. Nakul quickly saved the picture and got back to the task he had started.

He went through the few published articles that talked about how Ragini was diagnosed with a terminal illness and passed away leaving behind a tender child just with his father. On researching more, he realized that there were more articles gossiping about Dhiraj's father's new 'young' wife than his mother.

It didn't take him long to draw some of his own conclusions. I guess he really hates Avanti for replacing his mother. But he told me he doesn't hate her. Maybe he's worried that I might judge him for hating Avanti? But then, even if he hated Avanti why won't he talk about his mother.

Nakul went back to the picture he had saved. Zooming on to little Dhiraj's face, a small smile cracked open once again on his lips. But the next second, Nakul remembered the anger Dhiraj's eyes held just a few hours ago. His heart got a small pinch. For some reason he couldn't bear the look in those eyes. The pain that was hiding behind the anger was starting to seep out. I HAVE to talk to him once again.

And with that intention, Nakul approached Dhiraj. Dhiraj was sitting on the dining counter going through some files related to work. For a second Nakul contemplated if he should bring up the question now or not. But upon concluding that he might not have enough will to ask Dhiraj about this topic later, he knew he HAD to ask Dhiraj now.

"Hey, I think we should talk about the things that we left undiscussed." Nakul stood in front of Dhiraj, arms folded, hinting about the gravity of the situation. Dhiraj will have to take things seriously.

Dhiraj caught wind of what Nakul was trying to say. He knew he cannot escape the topic anymore. He had to face Nakul. And so drawing out a clear boundary, as he too folded his arms, he replied, "Why should we?"

Nakul couldn't believe his ears. Just how stubborn this man could be? " Why should we? Because I don't want to see you this way." Nakul's eyebrows arched up and concern was clearly visible in his eyes. He just simply couldn't see this man enduring some unexplainable pain that he was hiding.

He went towards Dhiraj and cupped Dhiraj's cheeks with his hands. Looking at the concern in Nakul's eyes, Dhiraj softened. His baby really did care for him.

Nakul steadied his trembling voice and continued, "Do you hate Avanti because she's trying to replace your mom?"

This topic. Again. Can't he just leave me alone? Hearing that question Dhiraj was annoyed. Why can't just Nakul let go of that? Irritated, he snapped at Nakul, "Why do you keep bringing this up when you clearly know I don't want to talk about it?!"