Home Is Where the Heart Is (Brittana)

Chapter 43

Santana's POV

After finding out that I was pregnant, the relief was short-lived. I had so much anxiety about miscarrying again. Still, I tried my best to act like I wasn't too worried, for Brittany's sake.

My morning sickness only got worse, and I had to tell my co-workers and boss about my pregnancy in order to keep working with my symptoms. I was insistent, though, that we did not tell anyone else until I reached the second trimester.

"Why can't we at least tell Jessie or our families?" Brittany asked.

"You know why. I don't want anything to happen and telling people and getting them excited is just going to jinx everything," I replied.

"Do you really believe that? You said you didn't want to feel so alone like you did the last time you were pregnant. Now, you know I don't think anything will go wrong, but even if it does, don't you want someone you can talk to?"

"I just can't have everyone getting all excited when I'm already anxious," I said.

"And when are you not anxious? I know you don't want to hear this, Santana, but chances are you'll be anxious for your entire pregnancy, and probably at least a little bit for the rest of your life. I just think it would do you some good to get excited about this with Jessie or with your mom or even with Rachel. She's only a few months ahead of you, and I'm sure she'd love to hear that you're pregnant."

"Not right now, B, okay? I know you're making sense, but I'm just too stressed."

"Fine, I'll leave it alone for now, but as soon as you're ready, we're telling our families."

---

Everly's swimming lessons started two weeks after finding out I was pregnant. She hadn't been in a pool often or even to the beach more than a few times, but we wanted to make sure she at least knew the basics of how to swim. Whoever decided to schedule toddler swimming lessons for 7:30 in the morning, though, was on my bad side.

That morning, Brittany woke me up at 6 o'clock. While it was quite normal for us to be awake that early, since I'd gotten pregnant, I was having an even harder time getting out of bed than usual.

I showered and got ready while Brittany made breakfast, which I hardly got to eat due to my morning sickness.

Thankfully, Everly was a morning person, and she happily ate her breakfast, while I pet Max far away from the kitchen. Brittany and I got her dressed in a ruffled pink polka dot swimsuit with a sundress over for the ride before heading out to the car.

When we arrived to the outdoor swimming pool, a lot of kids and their parents were already there, some for the same class as Everly but most for different classes taught by different instructors. (We'd wanted Everly to be in a small class with a good instructor, so we'd done a lot of research before picking a place to sign her up for swimming lessons.)

After a brief discussion with the instructor, we took off Everly's sundress and watched her follow her class to the showers.

"She looks so grown up," I said, fighting my emotions.

"She really does," Brittany replied.

We sat down in uncomfortable white plastic chairs as close to the shallow end of the pool as we could (since that was where her lessons would mostly be). Around us were the other parents of the toddlers in her class, most of them just as restless as we were.

Only one kid started crying and didn't want to get into the pool (thankfully not ours because I would have just grabbed her and brought her home with my anxiety that day), but after that, the class went as smoothly as it possibly could have.