Home Is Where the Heart Is (Brittana)

Chapter 38

TW: panic attack, mentions of miscarriage

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Santana's POV

On the day we could finally take a pregnancy test at the beginning of February, I stopped by the drugstore to pick three up on my way home from work.

When I got home, I quickly brought the tests into the master bathroom before going to Everly's bedroom where her and Brittany were playing with her dolls.

"Mami!" Evie exclaimed, running to hug me.

"How was your day?" I asked, letting her go from the hug.

"Good. Me and Mama played in the snow and now we're playin' dolls!"

"That sounds fun!" I replied, smiling at Brittany, trying not to let her see just how nervous I was about the three pregnancy tests sitting in our bathroom.

After eating dinner, the three of us spent the evening playing and reading until it was time for Everly to go to bed.

"Do you want to do it now?" Brittany asked once we'd tucked Evie into bed.

I nodded. "I really just want to get it over with."

We made our way into the bathroom, and I peed on all three pregnancy tests, handing each one to Brittany once I was done.

During the five minute wait, Brittany and I didn't talk. I stared at the light blue wall in front of me and picked at my nails, trying to breathe deeper to ease the nerves in my whole body.

The sound from Brittany's timer made me jump, startling the butterflies in my stomach back into action.

"Can you look?" I asked her.

She nodded, biting her lip, before looking down at the pregnancy tests.

"They're all negative," she said, her voice monotone.

I felt a small wave of relief wash out of me, but with that came tears to my eyes and sadness in my chest. Standing from the toilet, I walked the two steps to Brittany and hugged her tightly.

"Are you okay?" she asked, squeezing me back.

"I mean, it hurts, but I'm okay. You?"

"Yeah, I think I'm okay. We knew it could take a few tries, right? I just really wanted them to be positive," she replied.

"I did too."

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Trying not to dwell too much on the negative pregnancy tests, we resumed our normal schedules.

For Valentine's day, Brittany and I went out for dinner with Everly, and we celebrated on our own once she was put to bed later that night.

I was starting to feel a lot better about the negative pregnancy tests. If we were meant to have another kid, it would happen one way or another, or at least that's what I tried to believe. Still, I knew getting pregnant wouldn't necessarily be easy, and I was willing to try again.

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The next day, I had a number of appointments at work. None of my patients were close to giving birth at the moment, so my working hours had been mostly predictable.

That was until I got called down to the emergency clinic. Rarely ever was a midwife sent to emergency, only when it was very busy and there was a pregnancy-related issue, so I was a little nervous when I got called down.

I was led into a room with a woman and who I assumed was her husband. She didn't really look pregnant, but with the way she was crying and holding her stomach, I was sure she was.