Home Is Where the Heart Is (Brittana)

Chapter 41

Santana's POV

In early May, Brittany had to work more since the dance studio's spring recital was later that month. That also meant Everly had one extra dance class each week, which she was excited for.

At the end of the two week wait, Brittany brought home a pregnancy test from work on one of the days she was teaching her class that did not have Everly in it. I was playing dolls with Everly when she came back home around dinner time. The evening went by quickly, and soon Everly was sleeping and it was time to take the pregnancy test.

Brittany was anxious, biting her lip, standing on her toes. I had butterflies in my stomach, even after so many negatives, I was hopeful, but I knew that too much hope would only result in disappointment if we had another negative test.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked after I'd peed on the stick and we were waiting for the results.

I shrugged, unable to think of anything until I saw the results.

The first line (the one that was always there) appeared on the test first, but the second one (the one that meant it was positive) never did.

"I'm okay," I said, despite the fact that I really wanted to scream or punch something out of frustration. "I think I want the next try to be the last one before we look into something else."

"Okay," Brittany replied.

There wasn't much else we could say, so we went to bed.

---

The next day was the dance recital. We had a lot to do before the evening, and since Brittany would be at work preparing for the event, I had taken the day off work to help Everly prepare.

"Are you excited?" I asked her while we were eating lunch.

"I have butterflies in my tummy, Mami," she replied.

"That can be a good thing."

"Will Mama be there?" she questioned.

"Yes, Mama will be on stage with you the whole time."

"Okay."

We played outside for most of the afternoon. Before eating dinner, I curled Everly's hair after putting it into a ponytail, since we wouldn't have time to it after. We had macaroni and cheese for dinner before it was time to get fully ready for the recital.

I helped Everly into her sparkly purple costume and cried (just a little) as I put the small amount of required makeup onto my three year old's face.

"Is it time to go now, Mami?" she asked once we were done getting ready.

"I guess so," I replied. "Remember you'll have to wait with your dance class without me before you go on stage."

"I remember."

Once we arrived at the venue where we'd dropped Brittany off that morning, I held Everly's hand and we walked to find where the dancers would be waiting for their turns to perform. (Thankfully, the youngest dancers would be going first, so I didn't have to worry about a long wait for her.)

I caught a glance of Brittany while dropping off Everly and making sure she was comfortable before going to find my seat.

Rachel (just starting to show that she was pregnant) had asked if she could come watch, so I found her in the audience. Still, I couldn't help but wish that Brittany was beside me to watch our daughter's first dance recital together.

Mine and Brittany's parents arrived soon after I sat down, Brittany's father already with is video camera out to record his daughter and granddaughter. Jessie arrived soon after that.

Both of Brittany's classes were first since they had the youngest dancers of the studio. I grinned watching her with the children in the first dance (her class that didn't have Everly); despite the fact that there wasn't a lot of actual dancing involved, the cuteness of the little children doing the most basic of dance moves nearly made me cry.

Next it was Everly's class. I watched as the young dancers skipped out onto the stage with Brittany, spotting Everly (still the shortest in her class) right away. I wiped a stray tear off my face watching my daughter and seeing how grown up she was. The dance was over far too quickly, and while the rest of the recital was fun to watch, nothing could compare to my wife and daughter.

We met up with Brittany and Everly once all the performances were over. Everly was clearly feeling the high of the performance and talked a mile a minute for the rest of the evening. Needless to say, it was hard to get her to sleep that night.

---

With the recital being over, Brittany was off work until late August (since all children's dance classes didn't happen over summer), which also meant Everly didn't have as much to do. We decided to sign her up for a week of swimming lessons over the summer as well as a weekly pre-school-like group at the library that would start in September.

Quickly, the end of May approached, and it was time for our appointment to try to get pregnant again. The test confirming my ovulation followed by the call to the clinic felt different, but maybe it was only because we knew this was the last time we'd try IUI to get pregnant.

Jessie came to our house just before our appointment. (While both Jessie and Rachel knew about us trying to get pregnant, they didn't know that this would be our last time trying IUI.) Everly, excited to play with Jessie, hardly noticed when we left.

I had less nerves than any other time we'd had an appointment, feeling strangely at peace. Brittany still held my hand in the waiting room and during the procedure, though, since she really was the most supportive wife. I closed my eyes and wished that this would be the time we would get pregnant, but I still couldn't let myself be too hopeful.

We returned home after our appointment with less stress than we had any other time, and we watched a movie with our daughter before going to bed that evening, waiting for what would come next.